Taste of Kiwi: Blog of Author Shelley Munro

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This article appeared in the winter issue of Best of Times, a magazine for senior citizens and was reprinted from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. It made me laugh, but I’m really glad that times have changed!

This is the advice given to the male supervisors who were in charge of women in the workforce during the second world war.

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, and they’re less likely to be flirtatious.

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy.

3. General experience indicates that ‘husky’ girls – those who are just a little on the heavy side – are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination – one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against possibilities of lawsuit but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses that would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5. Stress at the outset the importance of time – a minute or two lost here and there makes a serious inroad on schedules.

6. Give the female employee a definite schedule of duties so they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the employee change from one job to another during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick, and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman – it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in operators’ uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed too much in keeping women happy.

I bet the male author of these tips never once considered that New Zealand might have a female prime minister one day. We’ve actually had two different female prime ministers and have many women members of parliament. Women can rule the world!

To celebrate the release of my naughty Christmas story, CHRISTMAS IS COMING, out now at Ellora’s Cave, I thought I’d give you a list of naughty quotes this week.

Thirteen Quotes about Love, Marriage & Naughtiness

1. I’d like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he’s working on now. ~ George Carlin

2. Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you’re going to get or how long it will last.

3. What do men and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion.

4. Women like silent men; they think they’re listening. ~ George Carlin

5. Lead me not into temptation. I can find the way myself. ~ Rita Mae Brown

6. Teenager: God’s punishment for enjoying sex.

7. You know more about a man in one night in bed than in months of conversation. ~ Edith Piaf

8. I consider sex a misdemeanor; the more I miss, de meaner I get. ~ Mae West

9. Sexting is hot. Women prefer Facebook, but men are more partial to Twitter because you only need 140 characters, can smoke a virtual cigarette after, and then play video games.

10. Don’t have sex, man. It leads to kissing, and pretty soon you’ll have to start talking to them. ~ Steve Martin

11. There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination, you can overcome that. ~ Lewis Grizzard

12. They married for better or worse. He couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.

13. You have between your legs the most sensitive instrument known to man, and all you can do is sit there and scratch it. ~ Sir Thomas Beecham to a Female Cellist

Source: The Snark Handbook (Sex Edition) Innuendo, Irony and Ill-Advised Insults on Intimacy by Lawrence Dorfman.

Christmas is Coming! Give your lover the gift of pleasure…
Read an excerpt

Tonight I came across an old magazine article titled Why Men Find Your Food Angst So Unsexy. Written by a man, the article described a restaurant visit he experienced in the company of his mother and sister. When the waiter came around to take dessert orders, he ordered a sticky toffee pudding with butterscotch sauce and vanilla ice-cream. The women passed on dessert, but requested that the waiter bring three spoons.

The man lost it and bellowed at the waiter. “Don’t bring three spoons. If they want dessert they can order their own.”

The restaurant grew quiet, and he turned around to find everyone staring at him. He thought to himself – was it his imagination or did most of the men look as if they wanted to clap?

Some women pilfer food off their boyfriends/partners’ plates. Seemingly, the theory is that if the food isn’t on their plates then the calories don’t matter.

I remember watching an episode of Friends where Joey’s date helped herself to his food—I think it was fries from memory. A big no-no in his book, because he was very serious about his food. He didn’t think it was right and became very upset. Joey dumped her after the food stealing incident.

I have to admit that I’m very territorial about my plate of food. If I order a dessert, I don’t want to share. Call me selfish, but I think people should order their own desserts. This extra spoon business sucks big time, and I don’t subscribe to it at all.

The article goes on to discuss fussy eaters who interrogate wait-staff about the menu and practically starve themselves, embarrassing their dates big time. It finishes with this advice to make peace with food.

1. Don’t starve yourself. Eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full.

2. Forget diets. Munching on bits of lettuce will not make you happy. It will just make you crabby, and everyone around you will suffer too.

3. Get real. Eating a piece of cake now and then isn’t a crime.

According to the article, the truth is that most men don’t like super skinny women. They prefer a little padding to hold on to and to spend time with a woman who is happy. And they hate women who pilfer their food, especially desserts.

Source: Cleo Magazine, Damon Syson

What do you think? Are you a food pilferer?

This morning the announcers on my favorite local radio station were talking about the top ten lies that men and women tell their spouses, girlfriends and boyfriends. I thought the topic would make an interesting topic for my Thursday Thirteen.

Thirteen Lies Men and Women Tell

1. Both Women and Men: Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.

2. Men: This will be my last drink.

3. Women: Oh, this isn’t new. I’ve had it for ages.

4. Men: Sorry, I missed your call.

5. Women: It was in the sale.

6. Men: I’m stuck in traffic.

7. Women: I’ve got a headache.

8. Men: I didn’t have that much to drink.

9. Women: It wasn’t that expensive.

10. Men: I’m on my way.

11. Women: I don’t know where it is, I haven’t touched it.

12. Women: No, I didn’t throw it away.

13. Men: No, your bum doesn’t look big in that.

Okay, I confess. Basically I’m a very honest person. I can’t lie to save myself, but I might have used a couple of these white lies in the past.

What about you? Have you used any of these white lies?

I’ve been researching body language recently. It’s a fascinating subject, and I’ve learned all sorts of interesting things.

The Definitive Book of Body Language by Barbara Pease has a section on the things men and women first notice about prospective partners.

Butt, Breasts or Legs?

When it comes to men and favorite body parts, they normally fit into three categories—breasts, butts or legs. This is all tied up with reproduction, believe it or not.

1. Butts – men find rounded, peach-shaped buttocks the most attractive. Female primates display their buttocks when they’re ready to mate. It shows they are receptive and available. Human females display their buttocks all the time, and this gives the males the impression she’s available. Women also store fat in their buttocks for breastfeeding and as an emergency food storage in lean times.

2. Breasts—they serve as a sexual signal. Men are attracted to cleavage.

3. Legs—long legs are a non-verbal signal telling a male a woman is sexually mature and capable of childbearing. Men like high-heels because it gives the illusion of fertile looking legs.

Chest, Legs or Butt?

Masculine body parts trigger a women’s sexual response as well.

1. Chest—a wide chest tapering to narrow hips allows a man to lug heavy weapons over long distances and to carry home their kills. (always handy, I think!)

2. Small, tight butt—a tight, muscular butt is necessary to make a strong forward thrust that’s needed for sperm transfer during sex. A man with a flabby butt has problems with this and tends to through his entire body into the thrust. Not comfortable for his partner.

3. Hips and muscular legs—symbols of masculine power and endurance. Long, muscular legs allow a man to run swiftly, chase and hunt.

Interesting stuff, huh? I tend to check out a man’s butt—don’t tell hubby. I had no idea I was thinking about forward thrusting at all. Really! No idea at all…

If you’re looking at a person of the opposite sex, which body part do you check out first?

I’m an avid traveler and a recent article in the travel section of the New Zealand Herald caught my attention. It spoke to me. It made me laugh.

In some countries, you still have travel with a father or a husband before being allowed to enter i.e. Saudi Arabia. In other countries I’ve visited, such as Iran, women have to wear head scarves, covered shoes and a long sleeved coat. I have a photo somewhere of me and two girlfriends in the back of a cab in Esfahan, Iran. We’re dressed in black from head to foot and wearing huge grins. We wore a black chador during our visit plus headscarves. I remember being uncomfortable and hot for the full seven days it took us to drive through the country. That said, it was a wonderful experience and we met some lovely people.

In other countries such as Pakistan, India and Turkey, a woman needs to dress with care to prevent giving local males the wrong idea, i.e. that’s she’s available and ready for sex.

But there’s one other thing about travel that’s an even bigger problem for women, and that’s going to the loo. (Restroom for those of you in the US) Sometimes it’s hard to find one and at other times, they’re plain disgusting. A man can go anywhere – choose a spot, take aim and go. For a woman it’s not that easy. Take it from me, I have firsthand experience with this dilemma!

When we traveled overland in India, we’d pull up in the middle of nowhere for lunch. The first thing all the girls did was dive off the truck and find a tree to squat behind because within minutes the locals would appear. Many a time, we’d turn around and find a stranger getting a good view from behind. We learned to be quick.

That’s why this article fascinated me. It was about a new product called the Shewee that allows women to relieve themselves while standing up. To pee with a Shewee you unzip your trousers and push your underwear to the side. The Shewee is placed against your body and the spout angled toward the toilet or ground. A quick shake of the liquid resistant plastic and it’s dry and ready to store for the next time. At 17cm long and being very light, it can be stowed easily.

Here’s the link to the New Zealand website where it sells for NZ$19.90. (there’s also a US website – follow the links from the NZ one)

What do you think?

This might seem a random topic to blog about, but last week, not far from where I live, a woman was killed during a handbag robbery. Most women carry their lives in their handbag. I know I’m guilty of carrying way more stuff than I need. I thought a refresher of some commonsense rules wouldn’t go astray.

Here are a few things we can do to keep both our possessions and ourselves safe.

1. Be aware of your surroundings. When exiting your car in a carpark look to see who is around.

2. Walk with confidence and display positive body language.

3. Avoid walking in badly lit or isolated areas, especially if you’re alone.

4. Keep your bag close. Zip it shut and be wary of anyone who tries to distract you. Don’t leave your bag unattended. e.g. in a supermarket trolley.

5. Keep your car door locked while driving, and avoid leaving valuable items in your car when you leave it, if possible. Secure valuable items in the boot (trunk) before arriving at your destination.

6. Have your keys in your hand before you reach your vehicle. Secure your handbag first before your shopping.

7. Watch your handbags while in restaurants, public toilets. If you’re at a club and dancing have someone you know look after your bag. I’ve done a lot of traveling and I know how quick thieves can be. When I’m traveling I have my hand on my bag at all times. Sitting on the seat beside you is not a good place to keep your bag.

8. Keep your bag in front of you or in your hand while you’re at the bank or a ticket counter.

If you have any other suggestions please let me know.

I’ve been thinking about women and politics recently – for two reasons. One, Hillary Clinton is currently campaigning and two, New Zealand has elections this year. Our current prime minister is Helen Clark. Ms. Clark is New Zealand’s second female prime minister.

New Zealand’s ten-dollar note bears a picture of Kate Sheppard. To be honest, I don’t ever remember learning about her in history at school, and I actually liked history so I’m sure I didn’t forget. But Kate Sheppard is an important New Zealand figure and her efforts were far reaching.

Kate Sheppard was the driving force behind obtaining the vote for women in New Zealand. For a little country we’re very progressive. We were the first country in the world to award women the legal right to vote. Before 1893 only men over the age of 21 could vote.

Kate Sheppard was born in Liverpool, England and came to New Zealand in 1869 with her mother and other family members. When she was 24 years old she married Walter Allen Sheppard, a storekeeper in Christchurch.

In 1885 she joined the Women’s Christian Temperance Union. (An organisation of women formed to work towards moderation or restraint in things, especially drinking alcohol.) Kate became the leader of the fight to win the right for women to vote in elections. She organised petitions to Parliament asking for the right to vote for women and persuaded Sir John Hall, a leading member of Parliament, to support them. She wrote a pamphlet called Ten reasons why the women of New Zealand should vote to support the campaign. The suffrage bills were defeated in Parliament in 1888, 1891 and 1892, but despite this Kate continued the campaign for the vote. She used public meetings and letters to the newspapers to gather support, and her last petition to Parliament had nearly 32, 000 signatures on it.

Finally, on 19 September 1893 women were finally given the right to vote in elections. When the next general election was held ten weeks later, 65% of New Zealand women over 21 voted. New Zealand had become the first country in which all women had the right to vote.

Kate Sheppard later travelled overseas to England and America to help the campaigns there. She died in July 1934.

Source: Christchurch City Library

I think Kate Sheppard was an amazing woman. She believed women should take part in society and politics, rather than stay in the home and she believed that woman could not make any of the changes needed in society without first winning the right to vote.

So next time there’s an election, no matter how big or small, think of Kate Sheppard and her friends who helped women world-wide obtain the right to vote. Exercise your right. Vote and have your say.