The theme for today is a villain scene that shows a bad guy shining moment. I thought about my books and thought some more and couldn’t think of a single scene to post. In the end, I decided to post a bad guy scene from Never Send a Dog to do a Woman’s Job. I’m aiming for laughs today!
Never Send a Dog to do a Woman’s Job by Shelley Munro
“We’ve nearly got him! I told you the tracking device was necessary.”
Mattio ignored his younger cuz. If Jabot hadn’t been makin’ eyes at the sloe-eyed bim in the bar, they wouldn’t have had to chase the prince to this godforsaken outpost in the middle of nowhere. Always fuckin’ up. His parents should have christened him Jabot Fuck-up.
Mattio glared up at the fizzing electric lamp. It cast a white light over the car park, bleaching the bright color from the parked vehicles and making them appear the same color.
Earth! The backward blue planet was a boil on the backside of the galaxy. Why Prince Alexandre had traveled here when he had all the riches of Dalcon at the snap of his fingers—Mattio had no idea. Probably chasing a willing hooker—bah! Just like the older prince, Alexandre’s brother. No matter. Mattio didn’t want to know. All he wanted was to capture Prince Alexandre, knock sense into the prince’s blockhead and hie back to Dalcon before the King found out his precious second son was missing. He didn’t intend to muck up so the King could renege on his promises.
Jabot pointed the tracking monitor around the car park in a slow sweeping motion. The low-pitched beep erupted into a frenzy when it passed a square vehicle.
“Over there,” he shouted.
“If you talk slow and don’t shout, you won’t break into that pissy squeak at the end of your sentence.” By St. Jupiter. Stuck with a dumbass undergrown. Mattio rolled his eyes toward the stars. What had he done to deserve such punishment?
“It’s coming from that square-high box.”
“Vehicle. Didn’t you listen to all the Earth speak tapes I gave you?”
“Boring,” Jabot whined.
“Might mean the difference between success and failure.” Mattio worked hard to keep his voice even. He’d learned that shouting or cussing made the undergrown sullen. Although he’d keep the thought in mind for the trip home. Sulking was better than talk. The incessant chatter on the way to Earth had done his head in.
“The prince isn’t in the box vehicle.”
Mattio thumped his cousin on the shoulder. “I’d be bloody surprised if he was. Earth people do not sleep in their vehicles. He’ll be inside the building…” Mattio fumbled for the correct Earth word. “Hotel,” he said finally.
Jabot turned toward the hotel, ready to find the prince.
Mattio grabbed his forearm and jerked him to a halt. “By St. Jupiter! Where the hell are you going?”
“Prince Alexandre—”
Mattio exerted enough force to make his dumbass cuz concentrate. “Use your brain. There are hundreds of rooms in the building. It’s night. We can’t burst into every room until we find him.”
“Why not?”
“Because we can’t.” Mattio cuffed his cuz across the head. “We’ll wait here until morning and grab him when he leaves the hotel.”
“I don’t wanna stay here.” Jabot’s bottom lip stuck up in a pout.
Mattio counted to ten in Earth speak. It took a great deal of concentration, but he still itched to hit Jabot when he’d finished. The medical man had told him to cut down on stress. How was that possible when he had to deal with Jabot the nincompoop? He reached into his travel suit pouch and retrieved a relaxation wafer. Mattio slid it under his tongue and focused on his cuz.
Jabot glanced around frowning then looked at him in a sly way that never failed to wind him up. “Can we sit in the vehicle?”
Mattio sucked in a calming breath just like the medical man suggested and considered the suggestion from all angles. Not bad. Finally, he gave a grudging nod. “Good idea.” After checking the area for signs of life, he led the way to the vehicle. The tracking monitor went berserk when they stopped beside the blue vehicle. Mattio checked for onlookers again then plucked a Dalcon knife from the sheath attached to his survival belt.
Jabot pushed his nose up to the windows of the vehicle. “Can’t see inside.”
“No matter.” Mattio shrugged. He walked up to the back and inserted his knife into the lock.
“Try it first,” Jabot suggested.
As if, Mattio thought, but if he didn’t try the door, he’d never hear the end of Jabot’s complaints. Mattio glanced at Jabot as he tried the handle. A sharp click sounded and the silver handle gave. Well, blow me, Mattio thought in astonishment. He turned his head to grin at his cousin. “It’s open.”
“Told ya.”
Mattio tugged the door fully open and peered inside. A white blur erupted from the corner. A mouthful of teeth and fangs flashed in front of his shocked face. Mattio backed up rapidly but was hindered by Jabot hovering at his back, trying to see inside.
The thing kept coming, making harsh sounds loud enough to attract unwanted attention.
“What is it?” Jabot shouted in clear panic.
“How should I know?” Mattio snapped, trying to turn and run. His feet tangled in Jabot’s. They hit the ground with a bone-crunching thud.
“Woof!”
A gust of hot air flooded his face. The demon fastened its teeth on his arm and stood over him, and shaking and growling until the teeth bit deep.
“Get him off me!” Mattio shrieked at his cousin.
“I’m not going near that creature. No, sirree!” Jabot darted out of sight behind another vehicle.
The demon growled low and mean. “Woof!”
Mattio wrenched his arm away, timing his move for when the creature opened its mouth to speak. He scrambled to his feet and backed up, his gaze on the creature in case it charged.
“Woof! Wolf!” The creature stalked closer, its brown eyes seeming to bore into him and sapping his strength.
“Run,” Jabot called from his position of relative safety.
For once, Jabot made perfect sense. Mattio’s heart beat with fear as the demon advanced. He kicked out with his foot. Sharp teeth snapped, barely missing his boot. Mattio’s store of courage seeped away, and he turned tail and ran as fast as he could. Seconds later, he flattened himself against the side of the vehicle where Jabot hid.
“Is it chasing?” he gasped, struggling for breath.
“I think we’re safe. It looks like it’s going back inside the blue box.”
For once, Mattio didn’t try to correct his cousin. He slumped his shoulders and concentrated on taking deep breaths while his heart settled. When he finally straightened, he scanned the car park to see if they’d attracted attention. They were safe. He couldn’t see another living soul but could have sworn he heard laughter.
Never Send a Dog to do a Woman’s Job can be purchased in e-format or in print as part of the Romancing the Alien anthology.
To visit other Saturday Snippets follow the links below:
Cynthia Eden
Shelli Stevens
Shelley Munro
Moira Rogers
TJ Michaels
Jody Wallace
Eliza Gayle
Kelly Maher
Taige Crenshaw
Mandy Roth
McKenna Jeffries
SJ Day
