Taste of Kiwi: Blog of Author Shelley Munro

The theme for this week is secondary characters. I enjoy writing secondary characters because they’re allowed to do and say all the things the hero and heroine can’t. In fact, I think they have all the fun parts. My excerpt today is from book two in my Talking Dog series, Never Send a Dog to do a Woman’s Job. The heroine’s family are worried about her new job squiring an alien around New Zealand, and now that they’ve managed to get him alone, they’re giving him the third degree

Never Send a Dog to do a Woman’s Job by Shelley Munro

They stowed his bags and piled into a vehicle called a land something or other. Luke and Killer took the passenger seat and Richard drove. Alex was hemmed in the rear, a potential target between the bodyguard and the explorer. The only weapon he had to protect himself with was an Earth jacket.

Alex clicked the seat belt into place and cast a sardonic glance at each of the Dalcon women who flanked him. Time for the attack to begin.

“I told you,” Janaya stated in a hard voice, “to make sure you had travel inoculations before you left Dalcon. I told you of the consequences.”

“You informed me of the dangers of bonding and made it clear what would happen if Lily was coerced into a bond with me. I listened to everything you said, but there was a problem. I’m allergic to fodo quills.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Luke demanded, his bronzed face darkening with anger as he glared from the passenger seat. Killer punctuated her displeasure with a low, hair-raising growl.

“I’ve been thinking about that,” Hinekiri said, breaking the sudden tension. “He needed Lily, so he didn’t mention his allergy. This business venture of yours must be real important to you.”

They didn’t know the half of it, Alex thought. If he’d stayed in the palace for much longer he’d have lost every brain cell. And insanity wasn’t the done thing for a prince. No telling what indignities the King would have forced on him in the nature of a tonic-fix.

“I’ve invested a lot of time and money,” Alex said in wry understatement. Not to mention run away from home, dodged his bodyguards and spent a fortune on the Driscoll witch spell to disguise his looks. Money well spent since none of them seemed to recognize him as Prince Alexandre. The old crone who’d sold him the spell had assured him he would appear the exact opposite in appearance. Dalconians would see him as dark and plain, the exact same reflection he saw whenever he looked in a mirror now. It had taken a little getting used to seeing a stranger, but he had grown to love the anonymity. Alex considered conducting a test of sorts to ease his agitation but gave up the idea. He didn’t want to call attention to himself any more than necessary. “Why did you give me an introduction letter if you didn’t trust me?”

“We had second thoughts,” Janaya stated with quiet dignity. “And we wanted to pick up some fishing gear. Besides, you told us you had the inoculations covered.”

“The medical man prescribed pills.”

“Then why didn’t you take them?” Janaya muttered, spearing him a look of distaste. “If my sister-in-law must bond with a Dalconian then at least he should have a few looks going for him.”

Hinekiri reached past him to slap Janaya on the leg. “Manners! I’m ashamed of you. The male can’t help how he looks.”

Alex wanted to chuckle and cheer out loud. Proof that the spell was working. “Don’t worry. I’m used to it. Looks aren’t everything.” He just wished that everyone else didn’t put such stock in his looks. “And I took the pills. I’m still taking the pills. I’ve no idea why they’re not working. Lily seems pleasant, but I don’t wish to bond with any female.”

Hinekiri took hold of his chin and stared deep into his eyes before looking at Janaya. “If you ask me the male’s telling the truth.”

“That’s it then,” Janaya said. “I’ll have to shoot him.”

“I haven’t done anything.” Alex felt his face heat with anger. “I want to do research for my business. I’m not looking for an Earth woman to mate with,” he gritted out.

Richard pulled up on the side of the road with a screech of brakes. “I can’t concentrate on driving with you sniping at each other. You’re acting like children. If you can’t behave in the backseat, I’m gonna put the lot of you out and you can walk to Sloan.”

Stunned silence met his announcement.

“Looks like rain,” Luke said cheerfully.

Richard speared a glare at his son. “One more smart-ass comment and you can go with them.”

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To read more Snippet Saturday excerpts follow the trail below:

Mari Carr
HelenKay Dimon
Eliza Gayle
Shelley Munro
Lauren Dane
Vivian Arend
Shelli Stevens
Taige Crenshaw
McKenna Jeffries
Ashley Ladd
Jody Wallace
TJ Michaels

The theme for today is a villain scene that shows a bad guy shining moment. I thought about my books and thought some more and couldn’t think of a single scene to post. In the end, I decided to post a bad guy scene from Never Send a Dog to do a Woman’s Job. I’m aiming for laughs today!

Never Send a Dog to do a Woman’s Job by Shelley Munro

“We’ve nearly got him! I told you the tracking device was necessary.”

Mattio ignored his younger cuz. If Jabot hadn’t been makin’ eyes at the sloe-eyed bim in the bar, they wouldn’t have had to chase the prince to this godforsaken outpost in the middle of nowhere. Always fuckin’ up. His parents should have christened him Jabot Fuck-up.

Mattio glared up at the fizzing electric lamp. It cast a white light over the car park, bleaching the bright color from the parked vehicles and making them appear the same color.

Earth! The backward blue planet was a boil on the backside of the galaxy. Why Prince Alexandre had traveled here when he had all the riches of Dalcon at the snap of his fingers—Mattio had no idea. Probably chasing a willing hooker—bah! Just like the older prince, Alexandre’s brother. No matter. Mattio didn’t want to know. All he wanted was to capture Prince Alexandre, knock sense into the prince’s blockhead and hie back to Dalcon before the King found out his precious second son was missing. He didn’t intend to muck up so the King could renege on his promises.

Jabot pointed the tracking monitor around the car park in a slow sweeping motion. The low-pitched beep erupted into a frenzy when it passed a square vehicle.

“Over there,” he shouted.

“If you talk slow and don’t shout, you won’t break into that pissy squeak at the end of your sentence.” By St. Jupiter. Stuck with a dumbass undergrown. Mattio rolled his eyes toward the stars. What had he done to deserve such punishment?

“It’s coming from that square-high box.”

“Vehicle. Didn’t you listen to all the Earth speak tapes I gave you?”

“Boring,” Jabot whined.

“Might mean the difference between success and failure.” Mattio worked hard to keep his voice even. He’d learned that shouting or cussing made the undergrown sullen. Although he’d keep the thought in mind for the trip home. Sulking was better than talk. The incessant chatter on the way to Earth had done his head in.

“The prince isn’t in the box vehicle.”

Mattio thumped his cousin on the shoulder. “I’d be bloody surprised if he was. Earth people do not sleep in their vehicles. He’ll be inside the building…” Mattio fumbled for the correct Earth word. “Hotel,” he said finally.
Jabot turned toward the hotel, ready to find the prince.

Mattio grabbed his forearm and jerked him to a halt. “By St. Jupiter! Where the hell are you going?”

“Prince Alexandre—”

Mattio exerted enough force to make his dumbass cuz concentrate. “Use your brain. There are hundreds of rooms in the building. It’s night. We can’t burst into every room until we find him.”

“Why not?”

“Because we can’t.” Mattio cuffed his cuz across the head. “We’ll wait here until morning and grab him when he leaves the hotel.”

“I don’t wanna stay here.” Jabot’s bottom lip stuck up in a pout.

Mattio counted to ten in Earth speak. It took a great deal of concentration, but he still itched to hit Jabot when he’d finished. The medical man had told him to cut down on stress. How was that possible when he had to deal with Jabot the nincompoop? He reached into his travel suit pouch and retrieved a relaxation wafer. Mattio slid it under his tongue and focused on his cuz.

Jabot glanced around frowning then looked at him in a sly way that never failed to wind him up. “Can we sit in the vehicle?”

Mattio sucked in a calming breath just like the medical man suggested and considered the suggestion from all angles. Not bad. Finally, he gave a grudging nod. “Good idea.” After checking the area for signs of life, he led the way to the vehicle. The tracking monitor went berserk when they stopped beside the blue vehicle. Mattio checked for onlookers again then plucked a Dalcon knife from the sheath attached to his survival belt.

Jabot pushed his nose up to the windows of the vehicle. “Can’t see inside.”

“No matter.” Mattio shrugged. He walked up to the back and inserted his knife into the lock.

“Try it first,” Jabot suggested.

As if, Mattio thought, but if he didn’t try the door, he’d never hear the end of Jabot’s complaints. Mattio glanced at Jabot as he tried the handle. A sharp click sounded and the silver handle gave. Well, blow me, Mattio thought in astonishment. He turned his head to grin at his cousin. “It’s open.”

“Told ya.”

Mattio tugged the door fully open and peered inside. A white blur erupted from the corner. A mouthful of teeth and fangs flashed in front of his shocked face. Mattio backed up rapidly but was hindered by Jabot hovering at his back, trying to see inside.

The thing kept coming, making harsh sounds loud enough to attract unwanted attention.

“What is it?” Jabot shouted in clear panic.

“How should I know?” Mattio snapped, trying to turn and run. His feet tangled in Jabot’s. They hit the ground with a bone-crunching thud.

“Woof!”

A gust of hot air flooded his face. The demon fastened its teeth on his arm and stood over him, and shaking and growling until the teeth bit deep.

“Get him off me!” Mattio shrieked at his cousin.

“I’m not going near that creature. No, sirree!” Jabot darted out of sight behind another vehicle.

The demon growled low and mean. “Woof!”

Mattio wrenched his arm away, timing his move for when the creature opened its mouth to speak. He scrambled to his feet and backed up, his gaze on the creature in case it charged.

“Woof! Wolf!” The creature stalked closer, its brown eyes seeming to bore into him and sapping his strength.

“Run,” Jabot called from his position of relative safety.

For once, Jabot made perfect sense. Mattio’s heart beat with fear as the demon advanced. He kicked out with his foot. Sharp teeth snapped, barely missing his boot. Mattio’s store of courage seeped away, and he turned tail and ran as fast as he could. Seconds later, he flattened himself against the side of the vehicle where Jabot hid.

“Is it chasing?” he gasped, struggling for breath.

“I think we’re safe. It looks like it’s going back inside the blue box.”

For once, Mattio didn’t try to correct his cousin. He slumped his shoulders and concentrated on taking deep breaths while his heart settled. When he finally straightened, he scanned the car park to see if they’d attracted attention. They were safe. He couldn’t see another living soul but could have sworn he heard laughter.

Never Send a Dog to do a Woman’s Job can be purchased in e-format or in print as part of the Romancing the Alien anthology.

To visit other Saturday Snippets follow the links below:

Cynthia Eden
Shelli Stevens
Shelley Munro
Moira Rogers
TJ Michaels
Jody Wallace
Eliza Gayle
Kelly Maher
Taige Crenshaw
Mandy Roth
McKenna Jeffries
SJ Day

I spent the afternoon at my favorite shopping center today and found myself trying on a couple of outfits. What on earth do they do to the lights and mirrors in store changing rooms? I want to know – the image that reflects back in the mirror… Oy! Scary stuff. I’m sure that wasn’t me! Was it?

I’m heading straight back to the writing cave now, but on Friday I’m going to have a special day all about kisses with the odd random prize or two. I hope you have a chance to visit.

I’ve added a couple of articles to my For Readers page including a photo essay for Never Send a Dog to do a Woman’s Job and also an article about the real Ellora’s Cave.

Okay, I fibbed. I’m going to have a cup of tea and a Timtam first and then hit the writing cave. Middlemarch calls…