Taste of Kiwi: Blog of Author Shelley Munro

To celebrate the release of my naughty Christmas story, CHRISTMAS IS COMING, out now at Ellora’s Cave, I thought I’d give you a list of naughty quotes this week.

Thirteen Quotes about Love, Marriage & Naughtiness

1. I’d like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he’s working on now. ~ George Carlin

2. Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you’re going to get or how long it will last.

3. What do men and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion.

4. Women like silent men; they think they’re listening. ~ George Carlin

5. Lead me not into temptation. I can find the way myself. ~ Rita Mae Brown

6. Teenager: God’s punishment for enjoying sex.

7. You know more about a man in one night in bed than in months of conversation. ~ Edith Piaf

8. I consider sex a misdemeanor; the more I miss, de meaner I get. ~ Mae West

9. Sexting is hot. Women prefer Facebook, but men are more partial to Twitter because you only need 140 characters, can smoke a virtual cigarette after, and then play video games.

10. Don’t have sex, man. It leads to kissing, and pretty soon you’ll have to start talking to them. ~ Steve Martin

11. There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination, you can overcome that. ~ Lewis Grizzard

12. They married for better or worse. He couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.

13. You have between your legs the most sensitive instrument known to man, and all you can do is sit there and scratch it. ~ Sir Thomas Beecham to a Female Cellist

Source: The Snark Handbook (Sex Edition) Innuendo, Irony and Ill-Advised Insults on Intimacy by Lawrence Dorfman.

Christmas is Coming! Give your lover the gift of pleasure…
Read an excerpt

The other day when hubby and I visited his mother we ended up talking about gyms. Hubby and I said we were going to the gym.

My MIL immediately said, “You must go together. My neighbor went to the gym to get fit and lose weight. She met someone and now her marriage has broken up. You MUST go to the gym together.”

After a startled silence hubby and I both grinned at each other and burst out laughing. The gym we were talking about is in our spare bedroom. Heck, I could go naked to our gym and no one would notice! And about the comment – I’m still deciding whether to be insulted or not.

My MIL’s comment made me think about where people met their partners.

Emily Scarlet met Saber Mitchell at the Middlemarch Single’s Ball – Scarlet Woman.

Anna Tietjens met Sebastian Brady at the airport when their plane was delayed – Wanderlust.

Hayley Williams met Sam Norville at her girlfriend’s work function – Tea For Two

Joanna McGregor met Louie Lithgow during a holiday in Fiji – Soldier of Fortune.

Rafi Mura met Roberto Azam when they were kids in Melbourne, attending the same school – Fallen Idol.

I met my husband in a bank. I was a bank teller, and he was a customer. I’m not sure where I’d look for a partner if I was in need of one. Maybe the gym!

Where did you meet your partner? If you were looking for a partner, where would you search first?

In Soldier of Fortune tour news, I’m doing a guest spot at Love Romance Passion today and talking about contemporary romance. I’m also doing a giveaway.

Tracy at Bootstrap Marketing has been very busy organizing book tours for me. I’m trying something new with my promo and taking some of my backlist books on tour.

See my sidebar for full details of the upcoming tours for Tea For Two and Fancy Free.

Overheard while biking – two elderly gentlemen deep in discussion:

“It’s a great place to take your girlfriend for the night.”

Wonderful to hear love and romance is still going strong at an elderly age