Taste of Kiwi: Blog of Author Shelley Munro

I’m doing a bit of a blog tour with one of my older releases, Fancy Free. Today I’m at I Do Not Want To Wait I Want The Book Now where I’m talking about Fancy Free and life in small towns.

Warning: Condoms were tested and a few harmed during the writing of this story.

It’s not every day a girl inherits a condom company, and to say accountant Alice Beasley is astonished and out of her depth is putting it mildly. For an almost virgin, she needs a quick education in all things condom because her inheritance is in danger. Someone is intent on sabotage and playing nasty, trying to destroy her new company.

Alice is suddenly getting down and dirty with charismatic James, the factory manager, all in the name of business, testing new condom designs. The sex is hot. Mind-blowing. It’s a dark thrill and an erotic journey. Yeah, it’s a hard job, but a girl’s got to do what a girl’s gotta do.

The testing turns personal. Alice wants James. She craves his talented touch and sultry kisses, she desires passion and physical pleasure on a permanent basis but first she must convince bad-boy James to give up his fancy-free ways…

I’m also doing my monthly column for The Raven Happy Hour where I ponder what aliens actually look like. Here’s the link to my post on What Do Aliens Look Like?

The theme for today is Cheers and Drinking Toasts. Wouldn’t you know it? I couldn’t find a single one of my characters saying “cheers!” or offering a toast. But don’t fear – I did find a scene in Fancy Free where Alice, the heroine is trying out a few drinks, ones she hasn’t tasted before. After all, what better way to cap off a lousy and frustrating day?

Fancy Free by Shelley Munro

“Go easy. You’ll choke if you’re not careful. Here. Have some beer. It will soothe your throat.”

Alice eagerly accepted the glass of beer and chugged it down. “Tastes good.”

“I’ll get another one,” he said, his tone wry when she lifted his glass to her mouth again. “How the hell can you be an almost virgin? You either are or you aren’t.”

Horrified, she turned to stare at him. Oh my goodness. She’d told him. She’d really told him.

James gestured at the barman and ordered another beer before turning back to her with a grin. “So what’s the answer?”

“I refuse to tell.” Why would she bare her soul to him? He was practically a stranger. A sexy stranger, who if rumor could be believed—as per this morning’s paper anyway—had a parade of beautiful, leggy women strutting through his bedroom. Alice glanced down at her cloth-covered knees with a rueful sigh. No way did she qualify in the leg department.

James Bates wasn’t the right man for someone who wanted security. She had to remember that and try to ignore his pretty face and sexy smile.

Steven…ah, Steven didn’t seem to want her, or at least he refused to speak to her on the phone when she’d rung him at midday. She frowned. They’d dated for over a year. They had so much in common. Alice had thought she’d known him well and couldn’t believe his sulks. She wanted, needed, a partnership, someone she could rely on one hundred percent, a man who held the same values she did. A secure future with no financial hiccups. And a man who stood at her side—no matter what.

Alice picked up one of her glasses and peered at the dregs. She placed it back on the bar and picked up a gin and tonic. Steven had fallen down on the last item. She glanced at the man beside her. Nope, that man didn’t look like Steven.

James brushed against her arm when he shifted on his barstool and every one of her senses went on high alert. She smelled his citrus and spice aftershave and heard each one of his deep even breaths. A heavy sigh drifted past her lips while her gaze zapped back to study his sexy mouth and his sparkly blue eyes…

He was so pretty.

Oh boy. Eyes front. There was obviously something very wrong with her. Every inch of her skin tingled and her mind drifted to sex with alarming ease. She consoled herself with the fact that anything sexual rated as work-related. That sort of helped with her guilt except she kept fantasizing about sex with James. Close and very personal sex.

Somewhere, somehow during the day, she’d shoved Steven aside and replaced him with Mr. Dashing Dangerous. Her actions reminded her of a desperate woman. Heck, she was a desperate woman, a little voice in her head whispered. Alice straightened abruptly and wobbled on her barstool. Her arm and the outward curve of her breast brushed against his arm before she grabbed the bar and righted herself. The friction between their bodies set off a series of pleasurable explosions inside. Despite one audible pant, she attempted calm and cool. Mmm. Okay, that had never happened when Steven touched her.

Alice gulped and slowly looked across at James. Warmth and heat radiated from his eyes, and she wanted to bask in the masculine attention. Then she noticed the laughter and twinkle in his blue eyes and indignation surfaced.

“You’re laughing at me.” Alice drained the last of her gin and tonic and set the glass on the bar with a distinct clunk.

“No, I’m not,” he said. “What you see is admiration. Not every woman would take work at a condom company in her stride.”

“Oh.” Alice peered closely but his eyes moved across his face. All three of them. She winced when her head suddenly whirled around and around. With a shocked gasp, she screwed her eyes closed before opening them again.

“Are you okay?”

“Did you know you have three eyes?” Alice blinked. “All blue like the sky. And two noses. What on earth do you do with two noses? What do you do when you have a cold? How do you know which one to blow first?”

James leaned close to place his arm around her shoulders. “I think your parents named you well,” he murmured, a chuckle underlying his words. “You’re very curious.”

“Will you come back to the bed and breakfast with me?”

“Sure, I’ll walk you home. Make sure you get there safely.”

Alice attempted to focus on his middle eye. “No, I mean I’m tired of wondering what all the fuss is about. I want to learn the mysteries of sex.”

James glanced at his beer before he looked back at her. He hesitated before his mouth firmed as though he’d made a decision. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Her lips puckered up into a pout, a seductive one, she hoped. Difficult to concentrate with that number of eyes. She had an argument ready to refute. She did. “But an owner of a condom company should know how to work the apparatus.” Yeah. Alice nodded abruptly and regretted it. It doubled the number of eyes. “There’s something wrong with your face. It keeps sprouting eyes. You’ve got six.”

His mouth twitched. “Do you drink very often?”

“Waz that got to do with eyes?”

“Absolutely nothing,” he agreed. “You ready to go home now?”

Alice checked her drinks. No whiskey left. No gin left. But the glasses. Ye gods. They had gone forth and multiplied. There were four of the blighters. She shuddered, the unpleasant taste of the whiskey still a recent memory. “Finished.”

“Let’s get you home then.” James jumped off his barstool and waited at her side. When Alice attempted to emulate his feat, she teetered, toppling sideways and ending up with her nose pressed into a muscular chest. Ooh! Very nice.

Purchase from Ellora’s Cave or Amazon Kindle

To read more Snippet Saturday excerpts follow these links:

Moira Rogers
Ashley Ladd
Shelley Munro
Taige Crenshaw
Lauren Dane
Leah Braemel
Jody Wallace
Mari Carr

This shot was taken at our local Botanic Gardens. Mr. Munro and I don’t get there as often these days, now that the little dog is gone, but it’s a lovely outing for a Sunday morning.

In New Zealand news, an Invercargill woman was fined $275 for disorderly behavior after she flashed her boobs at motorists and caused an accident.

Mr. Munro has just learned he might have to go to work in Wellington for two weeks early next year, and I’ll get to go with him. Wellington is at the bottom of the North Island, and it will be a nice break from Auckland. I might even get some writing done. I’m finding it hard going this month with all the other Christmas distractions. I definitely want to visit the Day in Pompeii exhibition at Te Papa museum and we’re thinking we might do a quick trip to the South Island if time permits.

In book news, I have three more Ellora’s Cave titles available in the Kindle format: Fringe Benefits, Fallen Idol and Fancy Free are now on sale. Whisk out your credit cards and grab your copies today!

If you’re a writer, how is your writing coming along with all the Christmas razzmatazz? And readers, are you managing to relax a little with some of your favourite books?

The other day when hubby and I visited his mother we ended up talking about gyms. Hubby and I said we were going to the gym.

My MIL immediately said, “You must go together. My neighbor went to the gym to get fit and lose weight. She met someone and now her marriage has broken up. You MUST go to the gym together.”

After a startled silence hubby and I both grinned at each other and burst out laughing. The gym we were talking about is in our spare bedroom. Heck, I could go naked to our gym and no one would notice! And about the comment – I’m still deciding whether to be insulted or not.

My MIL’s comment made me think about where people met their partners.

Emily Scarlet met Saber Mitchell at the Middlemarch Single’s Ball – Scarlet Woman.

Anna Tietjens met Sebastian Brady at the airport when their plane was delayed – Wanderlust.

Hayley Williams met Sam Norville at her girlfriend’s work function – Tea For Two

Joanna McGregor met Louie Lithgow during a holiday in Fiji – Soldier of Fortune.

Rafi Mura met Roberto Azam when they were kids in Melbourne, attending the same school – Fallen Idol.

I met my husband in a bank. I was a bank teller, and he was a customer. I’m not sure where I’d look for a partner if I was in need of one. Maybe the gym!

Where did you meet your partner? If you were looking for a partner, where would you search first?

In Soldier of Fortune tour news, I’m doing a guest spot at Love Romance Passion today and talking about contemporary romance. I’m also doing a giveaway.

Tracy at Bootstrap Marketing has been very busy organizing book tours for me. I’m trying something new with my promo and taking some of my backlist books on tour.

See my sidebar for full details of the upcoming tours for Tea For Two and Fancy Free.

A couple of weeks ago I purchased an item manufactured by Durex. It proved faulty, and I couldn’t find a consumer address on the packaging. My next move was to go to the Durex website where I found a contact address. On Sunday I emailed their customer contact address with all the relevant details. And no, I’m not telling you what the product was—suffice to say I write erotic romance and like to do my own research! On Monday morning at 9.00 am, I received a response. They apologized and offered to replace the faulty product. On Thursday, I received my replacement item plus a few freebies. This is excellent customer service, and I’m impressed. I will happily continue to research Durex products (the inspiration for my contemporary romance, Fancy Free, which is about a woman who inherits a condom factory.)

Throughout my working life, I’ve held jobs that dealt with the public: a bank, a pub, an accountant and administration. In my last job as administration for the local McDonald’s franchisee, it was my job to field telephone complaints and write letters to customers who had problems with their McDonald’s experience. I know what it is like on the other side, and quite frankly, there were some horrid, rude customers who were completely unreasonable. Because of my experience, I’m very sensitive to customer service. While I expect good service, I try not to take out my frustration or a bad mood on hapless shop assistants. I smile and say thank you to the guys who pack my groceries. I know what it is like to be on the receiving end of an unreasonable rant.

I actually think that customer service has declined in a lot of businesses here in New Zealand. I don’t know why this is, but there are times where I lose patience and will walk away to spend my hard-earned money elsewhere.

In CatNap, book eight of my Middlemarch Mates series, brother and sister Rohan and Ambar Patel run the family grocery store. (They consequently sell it and move to a new grocery story in Middlemarch) The cornerstone of their business is customer service. Their strict parents have taught them that the customer is king and this is the way they run their business, going the extra mile to please their customers. Good customer service works for them.

What do you think about customer service? Is it better than it used to be or worse? Do you have any experiences to share?

Today’s theme is kickass heroines or rather the heroine kicking ass. I’ve taken a scene from Fancy Free where Alice and her cohorts save themselves before the arrival of the males in the story. Fancy Free is a company that manufactures condoms hence the handy weapon.

FANCY FREE by Shelley Munro

“You. We want you, missy.” The clown produced a gun from its pocket and pointed it directly at Alice. “You’re coming with us.”

All thoughts of fight left Alice then. The addition of a gun into the equation made a difference. She couldn’t put Harriet or Katarina at risk. They had families. Children and grandchildren.

“All right.” Alice’s voice sounded surprisingly level considering her knees knocked so hard. “I’ll come with you. You don’t need to hurt anyone.”

“No, Alice,” Harriet snapped. “They’ll hurt you.”

“Shut up,” the dog barked.

“You, sit there where we can see you, and you, missy, are coming with us,” the clown ordered.

The gun never wavered.

“What has Alice ever done to you?” Katarina demanded.

Alice found herself nodding. Yeah, that’s exactly what she wanted to know.

“She shouldn’t have come to Sloan,” the dog snarled. “She doesn’t belong here.”

“You,” the clown snapped, pointing to Katarina. “Get in the storage cupboard.”

“There’s mice in there,” Katarina said, giving a theatrical shiver. “I think the dog should go first. Scare them away so an old lady doesn’t have a heart attack.”

The dog snarled again and Alice caught a glimpse of shiny white teeth.

“In the cupboard.” Pure agitation shaded the clown’s voice and it contrasted sharply with the big red smile.

Alice didn’t like the way the gun had started waving all over the place. To her way of thinking, the clown appeared a trifle unstable while the dog, although it seemed in better control, had started to snap and snarl.

“Oh, all right.” Katarina used a put-upon voice.

“Well, I can’t go yet. I need to finish my row.”

“Put the freakin’ knitting down,” the clown roared.

The dog strode over to Harriet and grabbed for the knitting.

“Now!” Katarina sprang at the clown while Harriet wielded her knitting needles like weapons. She jabbed the dog in the thigh.

For an instant Alice froze before her wits returned. She grabbed a fiberglass penis sans condom and thumped the clown over the back of the head. The sound of the penis connecting with the clown’s scalp sent horror through her but she did it again. A dull thud. Alice repeated the move and the clown dropped to the floor. Katarina immediately turned her attention to the dog and Alice followed suit.

Harriet jabbed at the dog with her knitting needles. The dog howled when she connected. Katarina bent to pick up a chair. She wobbled unsteadily and Alice grabbed it from her, indicating with a jerk of her head that she should move around the front to distract the dog. Alice bypassed the chair by in favor of the bin. She scooped it up and crept closer before raising it above her head.

Without warning the dog turned. Alice stomped on the dog’s foot and a few seconds later Harriet poked it in the butt with one of her knitting needles. When the dog howled in pain, Alice decked it with her rubbish bin. This time she took great satisfaction in the crunch that sounded when head and bin connected. The dog crumpled like a popped balloon.

Harriet set her knitting aside with a scowl. “Damn fool dog made me drop a stitch. Call Luke, Alice. We’ll throw their asses in jail. Look!” Harriet shook her fist at the dog and kicked it. “They’ve ruined my scarf.”

Fancy Free is available in e-format from Ellora’s Cave.

To read other excerpts follow the links below:

Eliza Gayle
Jody Wallace
Moira Rogers
Sasha White
Shelley Munro
Taige Crenshaw
Vivian Arend
Lauren Dane
Jaci Burton
Juliana Stone
TJ Michaels
Lacey Savage
Elisabeth Naughton
Victoria Janssen
Ashley Ladd
Shelli Stevens

Today’s theme for Snippet Saturday is heroine seduction (fail). My excerpt is from my Ellora’s Cave story, Fancy Free. It isn’t a failure exactly, but it’s not a success either.

As always, to read other snippets on the circuit follow the links below my excerpt.

Fancy Free by Shelley Munro

Alice hesitated for so long he thought he might have frightened her or pushed her too hard and fast. Finally she released her bottom lip and the pale column of her throat moved when she swallowed. “I want to explore your body,” she whispered. “I want to know what you like.” Her warm hand squeezed his ass again, the innocent touch a heated reverberation throughout his entire body.
Read the rest of this entry ?

I was very excited to learn Fancy Free has been nominated as one of the best contemporary/suspense books over at Night Owl Romance. Here’s the link. There are lots of great books up for awards. Go over and vote – either for me or one of the other excellent books. I feel like a winner just being nominated!

A few years ago agent Donald Maass of the Donald Maass Literary Agency visited New Zealand to speak to us at our conference. He’s a wonderful speaker and I came away from his workshop feeling very inspired. At the moment he has a free download at his website of one of the books he’s written – The Career Novelist: A Literary Agent Offers Strategies for Success. I’ve already downloaded my copy. I like his book Writing the Breakout Novel. I have a copy, which I must read again because it’s full of excellent advice.

I’m about all things tea this week while I gear up for the 14 October release of Tea For Two, my first Samhain book. I noticed when I was over in the US recently that everyone drinks iced tea. We even had iced tea at the conference. I have to say it’s not something I enjoy drinking. Hot tea–yes, but not iced tea. Could someone tell me why they like iced tea because I can’t see the attraction.

I’ve received another wonderful review for Fancy Free. Fallen Angel Reviews has given Fancy Free 5 Angels and a Recommended Read award. Color me excited!

Rachel C said, “Ms. Munro gives us hot sex scenes that have your blood heating and your palms sweating. But that’s not all you get with Fancy Free, you also get laughter, emotion and suspense. Ms. Munro has you guessing the whole time, and with the curiosity of what might happen next riding you, you can’t help but turn the pages until you reach the end. This is the second book by Ms. Munro I’ve read and it certainly won’t be the last. Fancy Free offers everything—steamy sex, at times slap stick laughter, nail biting suspense and of course let’s not forget the cast of supporting characters; they alone are worth the price on the cover. Don’t miss this great read.”

Read the full review here. Thanks so much for the great review, Rachel.

I’m still busy working on two Middlemarch stories. I’ve hit 32,000 words for one story and I’m working on final edits for the other story. All going well another Middlemarch story should travel the cyber highway to my editor’s inbox soon.

My March release, Fancy Free featured a heroine who inherits a condom company.

Some of you will already be familiar with the behind-the-scenes story about how the idea for Fancy Free came to me. My husband and I were flying home from San Francisco aboard an Air New Zealand flight. I browsed the in-flight magazine and a new product article caught my attention. One of the new products was a vibrating condom, and immediately my mind seized on the idea. My husband shushed me when I tried to discuss condoms and the possibilities, so I went into daydream mode and by the time we landed in Auckland had a plot all mapped out.

That brings me directly back to condoms. In our personal lives we’re told to practice safe sex. I have no problem with that, after all, who wants to pick up a nasty disease while doing a horizontal tango?

Safe sex and the surrounding issues is something that authors need to consider each time they write a love scene. Back at the start of the safe sex campaign a lot of people went on record as saying using a condom in a fictional love scene destroyed all the spontaneity. Personally I’ve never understood the problem because if the scene is written properly, a condom can add an extra dimension. It says I care enough about my health to use one. It says I care enough about my partner to protect him or her. To me, writing a condom into a love scene makes plain common sense.

Over my years of writing I’ve developed a set of rules for fictional condom use. I’ll also add here that this is my opinion and this is what I like to see. I’m not going to bash you over the head if you disagree.

Contemporary romance:

My hero and heroine always use a condom in each love scene. Sometimes more, since I write erotic romance! If they don’t use a condom I give the reader a good reason. Sometimes in the heat of the moment our hero and heroine might forget. Our hero and heroine might be in the middle of nowhere and desperate to the point of crazed, or they might know each other’s sexual history and oral contraception is enough. In Fancy Free, condoms are part of the plot. My characters James and Alice make full use of their products. In Summer in the City of Sails, I even have a condom scene where the hero tells the heroine her glow-in-the-dark condoms remind him of a green ogre.

Historical romance:

I know from my research a form of condoms has been around since Egyptian times. During Roman times after the gladiators fought, they scored big time with the noble ladies. These noble ladies didn’t want children from the gladiators, merely a night of pleasure so they used condoms.

If I’m writing a historical, my heroes and heroines usually don’t use condoms. This was an era where good girls remained virgins until marriage, especially the women of the nobility so the use of condoms isn’t an issue. I look at the social mores when deciding whether my characters use birth control. In my Georgian-set historical, The Second Seduction the plot was a marriage of convenience and a condom wasn’t necessary. In Unforgettable, my World War II romance the couple use condoms.

Paranormal/futuristic romance:

Sometimes my hero and heroine use condoms and sometimes they don’t. It depends on the set-up. Often in my futuristic stories I’ll make a point of saying sexually transmitted diseases are eradicated. I did this in Sex Idol and Fallen Idol.

In my Middlemarch Mates feline shifter series condoms are used in some books and not in others, with the readers learning why condoms are absent.

It is my opinion that responsible romantic heroes use condoms.

What do you think about condoms in fiction? Should our heroes and heroines use them? Does it jerk you out of a scene if condoms are absent? If you’re a writer what rules of use do you like to apply?