Taste of Kiwi: Blog of Author Shelley Munro

This week my husband and I, plus several of the other drivers on one of our local roads, had to stop for about twenty geese to cross the road. This started a conversation about what a group of geese is called. According to an online page of the Christchurch library, I discovered that geese come in gaggles, clutches, flocks, lines, skeins, nides or wedges.

The perfect topic for a TT, I thought.

Thirteen Animal Groups

1. Crocodiles – bask or a nest

2. Flamingoes – stand

3. Ferrets – business

4. Goldfish – troubling

5. Grasshoppers – cloud

6. Hedgehogs – nest or an array

7. Hippopotami – bloat, school, pod or herd

8. Leopards – leap

9. Lice – flock

10. Midges – bite

11. Cockroaches – intrusion

12. Owls – parliament or a stare

13. Tigers – ambush

I don’t know how they come up with the group names, but it struck me how appropriate some of them are – hippo/bloat. They match perfectly. I’m not sure how ravens ended up with unkindness though. That one doesn’t seem to fit. Maybe someone can enlighten me.

My question to you – if authors and readers came in groups the same way as animals, what do you think they’d be named?

During my latest library jaunt I picked up a copy of The Mammoth Book of Useless Information by Noel Botham. Some of the useless information relates to Romans, and since hubby and I are off to Europe later this year, I thought this would make a good TT topic.

Thirteen Useless Facts about Romans

1. Romans used to believe that walnuts could cure head ailments, since their shape was similar to that of a brain.

2. In Ancient Rome, the law stated that prostitutes were to either dye their hair blonde or wear a blonde wig to separate themselves from the respectable brunette female citizens of Rome.

3. Wealth Romans, both men and women, would have all their body hair plucked, including pubic hair.

4. Slaves generally came from conquered peoples, but even a free man unable to pay back his debts could be sold into slavery.

5. One Roman ‘cure’ for stomach ache was to wash your feet and then drink the water.

6. The Romans were the first to create sculptures that actually resembled the people they were supposed to portray.

7. In ancient Rome, it was considered a sign of leadership to be born with a crooked nose.

8. The ancient city of Rome was on the site of the present city of Rome.

9. They invented numerals that are still used today.

10. Capital punishment was often carried out in the amphitheatre as part of the morning entertainment. Condemned criminals faced wild animals without the benefit of weapons and armor, or had to fight other prisoners to death with swords (also without armor)

11. Rome’s Circus Maximus was the biggest stadium, with seating for 250,000, and was used mainly for chariot racing.

12. Some Roman dishes were very exotic and included teats from a sow’s udder, or lamb’s womb stuffed with sausage meet.

13. Asparagus was a prized delicacy in ancient Rome and was rushed by chariot to the Alps, where it was deep frozen for six months to last until the Feast of Epicurius – God of Edible Delicacies.

Do you think you’d like to live in Ancient Rome?

One of my recent library reads has been If Walls Could Talk: An Intimate History of the Home by Lucy Worsley. An excellent read BTW, and full of interesting social details about beds, underwear, child birth, marriage etc. If you’re writing historical romance or you’re interested in all things historical this is the book for you.

Thirteen Factoids about Baths & Bathing Through the Ages

1. Medieval people mostly washed their hands and faces rather than taking baths.

2. That said, Medieval people weren’t afraid of baths. Knights used to indulge in something called a Knightly bath, which involved decorative sheets, flowers and herbs placed around the bath. A servant would take a basin of hot herbal potion and use a sponge to scrub the knight’s body. The knight was then rinsed with rose water and rubbed dry with a clean cloth. He was then dressed in socks, slippers and a nightgown and sent to bed. Doesn’t that sound luxurious?

3. Baths were made of wood and lined with a linen sheet to prevent splinters in the bottom!

4. The English embraced the idea of the Turkish hammans after reports from returning Crusaders. Records show the presence of 18 bathhouses in London in 1162. They were known as stews and were communal with men and women sharing them. Most were in Southwark. Wow, imagine the potential for an erotic romance…

5. The communal aspect did cause problems and some became houses of ill-repute. Henry VIII closed the bath houses down in 1546.

6. From around 1550 to 1750 baths were considered dangerous and weird. Bathing became medicinal rather than cleansing. People feared that bathing spread disease such as syphilis. Hot water opened the pores, allowing illness into the body.

7. During the 17th century medical understanding improved. People started to understand perspiration and a bath in cold water was considered beneficial. A full bathing, despite recommendation by doctors, was slow to catch on. The ballrooms at this time were pretty stinky.

8. Beau Brummell and other gentlemen of his ilk popularized bathing, making it classy, and soon everyone was doing it. Victorian etiquette books started to state bathing was good manners.

9. Water was usually carried from the basement up to the bedroom, then once used, it was carried down again by servants. Hard work!

10. Around 1860 some houses started to receive piped water to first-floor bathrooms, which made bathing much easier for all concerned.

11. The en suite bathroom was first seen in the New World. American heiresses sent to secure an English nobleman as a husband were horrified by the primitive bathing conditions.

12. The Methodist minister John Wesley would not preach in a place without a toilet and thus came the idea of cleanliness becoming next to godliness.

13. By the end of the 20th century thinking in the bath/reading in the bath becomes a way of relaxing and relieving stress.

Personally, I’m a shower girl and seldom have a bath. The bath doesn’t get much use in our house. I’d love to own one of those sleek wetrooms with tiles and lots of shower heads. Maybe one day…

Bath or shower? What does your dream bathroom look like?

I’m frolicking (visiting) at Sweet ‘N Sexy Divas today and talking about romance writers. Pop over to say hello and comment on my post – you know you’re a romance writer when…

And why am I frolicking here?

Because I’m hard at work on a historical romance where there is currently much frolicking. It’s rubbed off on me, hence the topic for my TT this week.

Thirteen Synonyms For FROLIC

1. Caper

2. Prance

3. Scamper

4. Tomfoolery

5. Skylark

6. Curvet

7. Dally

8. Carouse

9. Romp

10. Disport

11. Gambol

12. Cavort

13. Revel

I’m off to continue with my historical frolicking. Tell me – do you have any exciting plans to celebrate the arrival of the New Year? Will you be frolicking?

I picked up a copy of A History of English Food by Clarissa Dickson Wright from the library last week. The history of food fascinates me, and I enjoyed the way this author told an interesting story instead of throwing facts at me.

Here are thirteen things I found interesting:

1. The Georgians had a huge impact on food, the way it was cooked, served and consumed. They even influenced the times of dining.

2. Advances in the fireplace and accessories made cooking less laborious. Roasting and baking became much easier due to new designs of ovens and flues.

3. Some of the poorer families didn’t own ovens and sent their pies, stamped with their initials, to their local baker.

4. The English started making porcelain from which to drink tea.

5. Tea became a very common drink for all classes. Tea was drunk weak and sweetened without milk. It’s assumed that they drank their tea black because the milk was often sour, had nasty additives or was thinned down.

6. The introduction of more lighting was one of the reasons meals became later and taken at times more familiar to us in 2011. In Medieval times people would go to bed when it became dark, but now people stayed up much later.

7. Seating was done according to station, although gradually this changed to alternative seating with men and women. They say behavior improved on the introduction of this new seating method. The women obviously kept the men in line!

8. Turtle soup wasn’t actually a soup but more a stew. It contained chunky bits of turtle. Turtle soup was so popular that people who couldn’t afford turtles made mock turtle soup out of calves’ heads. Personally, I say yuck!

9. It was deemed vulgar to sniff the meat on your fork or plate because the activity implies the meat was tainted. People didn’t take their own cutlery with them any longer. Instead the host provided it.

10. The ice house was another new innovation. A small stone outbuilding containing a deep pit for ice helped keep food fresh. Blocks of ice were sawn from rivers to provide the necessary ice.

11. In 1762 John Montagu, the 4th Earl of Sandwich sent for two slices of bread and some meat, inventing the sandwich. Job well done since I like sandwiches for lunch.

12. Viscount Townshend, known as Turnip Townshend, introduced a system of four-field crop rotation. This involved a strict order of plantings and improved the fertility of soil and crop production.

13. The staples of the English diet – meat, bread, and vegetables were readily available and affordable during the first half of the century. Toward the end of the century with the industrial revolution taking hold and growing populations, the laboring classes started to suffer.

It’s interesting to note that around this time England started sending convicts to Australia. One of my ancestors was sentenced for receiving stolen goods in 1801 and sent to Australia. His wife and two children went with him.

To celebrate the release of my naughty Christmas story, CHRISTMAS IS COMING, out now at Ellora’s Cave, I thought I’d give you a list of naughty quotes this week.

Thirteen Quotes about Love, Marriage & Naughtiness

1. I’d like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he’s working on now. ~ George Carlin

2. Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you’re going to get or how long it will last.

3. What do men and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion.

4. Women like silent men; they think they’re listening. ~ George Carlin

5. Lead me not into temptation. I can find the way myself. ~ Rita Mae Brown

6. Teenager: God’s punishment for enjoying sex.

7. You know more about a man in one night in bed than in months of conversation. ~ Edith Piaf

8. I consider sex a misdemeanor; the more I miss, de meaner I get. ~ Mae West

9. Sexting is hot. Women prefer Facebook, but men are more partial to Twitter because you only need 140 characters, can smoke a virtual cigarette after, and then play video games.

10. Don’t have sex, man. It leads to kissing, and pretty soon you’ll have to start talking to them. ~ Steve Martin

11. There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination, you can overcome that. ~ Lewis Grizzard

12. They married for better or worse. He couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.

13. You have between your legs the most sensitive instrument known to man, and all you can do is sit there and scratch it. ~ Sir Thomas Beecham to a Female Cellist

Source: The Snark Handbook (Sex Edition) Innuendo, Irony and Ill-Advised Insults on Intimacy by Lawrence Dorfman.

Christmas is Coming! Give your lover the gift of pleasure…
Read an excerpt

Many years ago, around 8.00pm, I’m told, I came into the world kicking and screaming. Yes, today is my birthday, so I thought age was a very appropriate topic for my Thursday Thirteen today.

Thirteen Age Quotes

1. I was surprised when I started getting old. I always thought it was one of those things that would happen to someone else. ~ George Carlin, Brain Dropping 1997

2. I am in the prime of senility. ~ Benjamin Franklin

3. You’re not old until it takes you longer to rest up than it does to get tired. ~ Phog Allen, Kansas basketball coach

4. He says he’s young at heart – but slightly older in other places. ~ Anon.

5. Old is always fifteen years from now. ~ Bill Cosby

6. One day you look in the mirror and you realize that the face you are shaving is your father’s. ~ Robert Harris, Sunday Times 1996

7. One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that, would tell one anything. ~ Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance, 1893

8. The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence and obsolescence. ~ Art Linkletter, A Child’s Garden of Misinformation, 1965

9. First thing I do when I wake up in the morning is breathe on the mirror and hope it fogs. ~ Earl Wynn, Hall of Fame pitcher

10. The old believe everything: the middle-aged suspect everything: the young know everything. ~ Oscar Wilde, Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young, 1894

11. As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer. ~ Robert Quillen, American author

12. Just when I finally got my head together, my body fell apart. ~ Anon

13. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~ Anon

I admit that sometimes I wish I were in my twenties again. I’d do a few things differently i.e. start writing much earlier than I did, but on the whole getting older isn’t too bad. The wrinkles can be a little scary, but it’s easy enough to avoid mirrors :-)

Does getting older worry you? Which of the above quotes is your favorite?

I’m going fishing with my Thursday Thirteen this week and listing fishy terms.

1. Fish stew – bouillabaisse

2. Fishing from a moving boat – trolling

3. Fisherman – angler

4. Fish eggs – roe

5. Large group of fish – school

6. Raw fish – sashimi, sushi

7. Branch of zoology – ichthyology

8. Fishing bait or decoy – lure

9. Fish tank – aquarium

10. Fish hook – barb or gaff

11. Young fish – alevin, larva, parr, smolt or fingerling

12. Fishing spear – gig or leister

13. Fishy tale – something suspicious!

I have to admit that fishing is not my thing. I think it’s a cruel sport and prefer to stay well away. Hubby loves to fish and goes as often as he can fit it into his weekend schedule.

Do you enjoy fishing?

Source: Flip Dictionary by Barbara Ann Kipfer

Many romances, especially paranormal and urban fantasy ones, are based on the world of mythology. An example is Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Hunter series. Old myths and legends are rich in ideas for authors, so I thought I’d mention a few characters from within mythology for my Thursday Thirteen today.

Thirteen Tricksters & Means from Mythology

To start, mythology is a collection of stories that helped people make sense of the world. They were passed orally from generation to generation. Sometimes people wrote the myths down, and they were often celebrated in dance and art.

1. Chimera – a fire breathing monster made up of a mishmash of body parts of different animals.

2. Bacchus – the Roman god of wine and ecstasy. He gave King Midas the power to change everything he touched into gold.

3. Maui – he’s one of our New Zealand tricksters, and was supposedly responsible for fishing up New Zealand. He was a slippery one, and frankly, I’d run if I saw him. He pushed up the heavens and stole fire for mankind.

4. Cunning Hare – he’s an animal trickster that always outwits the other animals. He’s known in the US as Brer Rabbit.

5. Loki – the Norse trickster god. He caused the death of Odin’s son, Balder and is still being punished for it.

6. Baba Yaga – is a cannibal witch from Russia. She lives in a revolving hut that’s supported by hen’s feet, and she flies through the air in a mortar (grinding pot)

7. Guan Di – the Chinese god of war. Originally, he sold tofu, but he killed a magistrate and had to flee his home. He became a soldier and was promoted to the status of god of war.

8. Eshu – the trickster god of the Yoruba people in west Africa. He likes playing tricks on people – mischievous ones. He disguises himself as a naughty boy, a wise old man and a priest.

9. Kokopelli – another trickster. He’s also responsible for fertility of crops and the village women. I used Kokopelli as the basis for my story Seeking Kokopelli.

10. Tengu – a part man and part bird. They’re Japanese and have magic invisibility cloaks.

11. Sekhmet – a lioness god, sent by Ra to destroy mankind. Ra changed his mind and the only way to stop Sekhmet was to ply her with drink and get her drunk.

12. Centaur – half man and half horse they’re wild and savage. There are centaurs in the Harry Potter series.

13. Yen-lo – the ruler and judge of the dead in China. He weighs the souls first. Those who were virtuous had light souls while sinners possessed heavy souls. The souls must past several tests before they can be reincarnated.

All of these seem unfriendly to me. I’m not sure I’d like to meet them, but they certainly provide inspiration for stories.

Do you have any favorite stories based on mythology? Which of the above would you prefer to face? Write a story about?

Source: Mythology, an Eyewitness Book, by Neil Philip

During a visit to my local library this week I picked up a copy of Twitter for Dummies by Laura Fitton, Michael E Gruen and Leslie Poston.

Here are thirteen tips I came across while reading Twitter for Dummies.

1. Some of the best profile pages are the ones where the owner gives hints of their personality, so personalize as much as possible e.g. if you love to cycle use a picture of cyclists as your background.

2. People generally don’t like to follow you back if you haven’t loaded an avatar, so make sure you load one!

3. TwitBacks www.twitbacks.com is a site that features free Twitter templates for those who don’t possess the technical skills to design their own.

4. Twitter is designed to enable users to use it in a multitude of ways. Some people use the Twitter website while others use the mobile interface (phones etc), widgets or gadgets. I read my tweets on my iPad and use the Flipboard app. This app is the best thing since sliced bread since it incorporates Twitter, Facebook and my Google Reader blog feeds into a magazine format.

5. Twitter lists are an excellent way to filter your tweets into manageable bites.

6. It’s possible to follow other users’ lists e.g. if you follow a person you went to school with and they have a list of other classmates, you can follow this list, which brings all the tweets from ex-classmates together. Note – you can only follow a list if it’s not a private one.

7. To encourage people to follow you:
a) be real and genuine
b) be interesting and talk about your interests – your enthusiasm will shine through
c) be involved – search out people with your interests such as cycling or traveling

8. If you’re following a celebrity or a public company check to see that they’re verified. Verified accounts are those that Twitter staff have checked and are genuine. Impersonating someone on Twitter violates Twitters terms of service.

9. How often should you tweet? It depends on the person. Four or five tweets a day is good for a beginner. Make sure you talk with people and not at them.

10. If you’re looking for Twitter trends check out TwitScoop www.twitscoop.com or WhatTheTrend www.whatthetrend.com

11. To search for trending topics and popular hashtags check out Twellow www.twellow.com

12. To prevent spam, the Twitter team has limited the number of twitterers that users can follow to 2000 until they have roughly that number of followers themselves. Once an account reaches 2000 followers Twitter allows the user to follow more accounts.

13. If you want to know about the different hashtags check out www.hashtags.org

Do you have any Twitter tips? Are you on Twitter? Let me know your Twitter handle in the comments section so I can follow you.