I’m not sure where this list came from – it’s been on my hard drive for a while. I obviously saved it to be a TT because there are exactly thirteen items.
Thirteen Insults
1. I used to think that you were a pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
2. No, I don’t mind that you’re talking so much — as long as you don’t mind that I’m not listening.
3. Save your breath. You’ll need it to blow up your date.
4. Someday you’ll find yourself, and you will be just as disappointed as the rest of us.
5. You say you’re a wit? Well, you’re half right.
6. If there’s ever a price on your head, take it.
7. I’ll never forget the first time we met — although, I’ll keep trying.
8. Your entire purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
9. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
10. Now I know why some mammals eat their children.
11. Oh my God, look at you! Was anyone else hurt in the accident?
12. I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving.
13. Sure, I’d love to help you out. Do you remember which way you came in?
And one extra – I’d like to leave you with a parting thought, but I’m not sure you have anywhere to put it.
Do you have any good insults to add to my list?
No related posts.
January 14th, 2010 at 4:42 am · Link
Good ones, Shelley!
I don’t have any one liners, but one of my favorite insults came from Winston Churchill to Lady Astor.
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
January 14th, 2010 at 7:16 am · Link
LOL~! Love these. #7 is particularly good!
I don’t know if this is an “insult” but I’ve always loved:
Nice approach, now let’s see your departure.
January 14th, 2010 at 8:54 am · Link
LOL! Yikes!
*hugs*
Paige
My TT is at http://paigetylertheauthor.blogspot.com/
January 14th, 2010 at 8:55 am · Link
THANKS!
I’ve already forwarded them via email. Wish I could actually SAY something like some of these!
Have a great day!
January 14th, 2010 at 11:17 am · Link
ROFL! Oh thanks girl I needed that one today!
HUGS!
January 14th, 2010 at 12:44 pm · Link
I have to say the funniest insult I ever heard was from Ron White on the comedy channel. He said, ” You can fix your boobs, you can fix your teeth….but you can’t fix stupid.” lol
January 14th, 2010 at 3:09 pm · Link
Pretty much anything Trevor says… he’s a good one with an insult. My latest favorite is, “how can you sleep at night after spending all day spewing your own bullshit? Isn’t the stink too bad?”
ahh… Trevor…
January 14th, 2010 at 3:13 pm · Link
Maria – I liked that one. I’ve heard it before and it made me laugh then.
Jaime – I can hear a guy saying that in a pub. When I used to work in a bank as a teller there was this real creepy guy who used to come in and stare at me while I was counting his money. One day I was wearing a Fruit of the Loom T-shirt and it had a small emblem on my chest. He said to me, ” I don’t know about fruit of the loom but you’re certainly the pick of the bunch.” I was mortified and didn’t know where to look! I’ve never forgotten that.
January 14th, 2010 at 3:14 pm · Link
Hi Amy – long time no hear. I guess you’ve been busy as usual. I’m away from home for a week or two and my Internet access is limited. I’ll check in with you when I get home. I only have 14 minutes left on the internet today….
January 14th, 2010 at 3:15 pm · Link
LOL – Gotta love that Trevor, Susan.
January 14th, 2010 at 6:55 pm · Link
I have not had this big a laugh in a long time. LOL These are perfect and off hand I can’t think of one to add. You have one for every occasion. I would never have the guts to actually say this to a guy but boy have I thought it…LOL.. Just love your list,.., Thanks for the big laugh which is still errupting and jiggling my cat in my lap.
January 14th, 2010 at 9:40 pm · Link
Oh bad! That was a crazy thing that happened in the bank, Shelley. I may have slapped him no matter that I might lose my job!
January 14th, 2010 at 9:41 pm · Link
PS hope you and are having a wonderful vacation!
January 17th, 2010 at 10:46 pm · Link
There funny I copyed them and sent them to my niece to see if she like them.
sasluvbooks(at)yahoo(dot)com
January 23rd, 2010 at 7:25 am · Link
These were great. I’ll have to save them for use later.