Taste of Kiwi: Blog of Author Shelley Munro

Today’s theme is kickass heroines or rather the heroine kicking ass. I’ve taken a scene from Fancy Free where Alice and her cohorts save themselves before the arrival of the males in the story. Fancy Free is a company that manufactures condoms hence the handy weapon.

FANCY FREE by Shelley Munro

“You. We want you, missy.” The clown produced a gun from its pocket and pointed it directly at Alice. “You’re coming with us.”

All thoughts of fight left Alice then. The addition of a gun into the equation made a difference. She couldn’t put Harriet or Katarina at risk. They had families. Children and grandchildren.

“All right.” Alice’s voice sounded surprisingly level considering her knees knocked so hard. “I’ll come with you. You don’t need to hurt anyone.”

“No, Alice,” Harriet snapped. “They’ll hurt you.”

“Shut up,” the dog barked.

“You, sit there where we can see you, and you, missy, are coming with us,” the clown ordered.

The gun never wavered.

“What has Alice ever done to you?” Katarina demanded.

Alice found herself nodding. Yeah, that’s exactly what she wanted to know.

“She shouldn’t have come to Sloan,” the dog snarled. “She doesn’t belong here.”

“You,” the clown snapped, pointing to Katarina. “Get in the storage cupboard.”

“There’s mice in there,” Katarina said, giving a theatrical shiver. “I think the dog should go first. Scare them away so an old lady doesn’t have a heart attack.”

The dog snarled again and Alice caught a glimpse of shiny white teeth.

“In the cupboard.” Pure agitation shaded the clown’s voice and it contrasted sharply with the big red smile.

Alice didn’t like the way the gun had started waving all over the place. To her way of thinking, the clown appeared a trifle unstable while the dog, although it seemed in better control, had started to snap and snarl.

“Oh, all right.” Katarina used a put-upon voice.

“Well, I can’t go yet. I need to finish my row.”

“Put the freakin’ knitting down,” the clown roared.

The dog strode over to Harriet and grabbed for the knitting.

“Now!” Katarina sprang at the clown while Harriet wielded her knitting needles like weapons. She jabbed the dog in the thigh.

For an instant Alice froze before her wits returned. She grabbed a fiberglass penis sans condom and thumped the clown over the back of the head. The sound of the penis connecting with the clown’s scalp sent horror through her but she did it again. A dull thud. Alice repeated the move and the clown dropped to the floor. Katarina immediately turned her attention to the dog and Alice followed suit.

Harriet jabbed at the dog with her knitting needles. The dog howled when she connected. Katarina bent to pick up a chair. She wobbled unsteadily and Alice grabbed it from her, indicating with a jerk of her head that she should move around the front to distract the dog. Alice bypassed the chair by in favor of the bin. She scooped it up and crept closer before raising it above her head.

Without warning the dog turned. Alice stomped on the dog’s foot and a few seconds later Harriet poked it in the butt with one of her knitting needles. When the dog howled in pain, Alice decked it with her rubbish bin. This time she took great satisfaction in the crunch that sounded when head and bin connected. The dog crumpled like a popped balloon.

Harriet set her knitting aside with a scowl. “Damn fool dog made me drop a stitch. Call Luke, Alice. We’ll throw their asses in jail. Look!” Harriet shook her fist at the dog and kicked it. “They’ve ruined my scarf.”

Fancy Free is available in e-format from Ellora’s Cave.

To read other excerpts follow the links below:

Eliza Gayle
Jody Wallace
Moira Rogers
Sasha White
Shelley Munro
Taige Crenshaw
Vivian Arend
Lauren Dane
Jaci Burton
Juliana Stone
TJ Michaels
Lacey Savage
Elisabeth Naughton
Victoria Janssen
Ashley Ladd
Shelli Stevens

THE ROARING TWENTIES – A Romance Treasure Hunt!
20 authors, over 20 prizes, 20 chances to win. Contest runs from September 16-30

I’m taking part in the Roaring Twenties Treasure Hunt.
Go here for details of how to enter.

Tonight I went to a wine and cheese evening at a local dress store with my sister-in-law. It was fun looking at all the clothes. This owner of this store does most of the designs herself so this is the place to go if you want something different. Of course the prices reflect this and made my heart go pitter patter. I kept my wallet firmly in my pocket because I’m saving for my next holiday. The thing I noticed in this shop was the number of hats for sale. There were hats in all shapes and sizes, some with pretty feathers and frothy-like, feminine designs. The colors ranged from black to hot pink and scarlet woman red. I must admit that I like hats, although these days I mostly plop a cap on my head to combat a bad hair day and that’s the extent of my hat wearing.

Do you like hats? Do you wear them on special occasions etc?

Thirteen Breeds of Cattle

1. Charolais – a very old breed from France. Animals are cream or white in color.

2. Angus – an English breed. Black in color.

3. Brahman – Very hardy and adaptable cattle. Hair color varies from light grey to red or black. The animal’s dark skin acts as a filter to the sun and this makes it suitable for the hot areas in the USA.

4. Hereford – one of my favorites with their white head and red bodies. They are an English breed, are docile with a high fertility rate and good mothering skills.

5. Limousin – a very old breed originating in France. They’re very hardy. They come in red to gold shades.

6. Maine Anjou – Another French breed. They are large animals, well-muscled animals with red coats.

7. Shorthorn – this is the breed my father had when we were growing up. They’re an English breed and can be red, white or roan (sort of a speckled mixture). They’re quiet and easy to handle.

8. Simmental – They can be traced back to Switzerland. They are a large, docile breed and are red and white or gold and white.

9. Texas Longhorn – It’s an American breed that traces its origins back to the first cattle imported into the country. They have massive horns and come in lots of different colors.

10. Scottish Highland – a breed that originates in Scotland. They have shaggy coats to keep them warm, horns and come in red, black or blonde. I have it on good authority that they’re good to eat.

11. Belgian Blue – They come from Belgium and are primarily milking cows. Their colors range from white, blue-roan to black. The breed is well-known for its impressive muscling.

12. Galloway – A Scottish breed. They are mainly black and have a soft and wavy coat, which serves to protect it from wind and rain. It’s a maternal and hardy breed, naturally lean and an excellent forager.

13. Murray Grey – this breed developed in Australia and are grey in color. They are maternal and good milkers. The calves are small at birth and the breed is known as a docile one.

My father has a house cow called Donna. Donna is big and black and comes when my father calls her. She likes to eat carrots and if you’re not quick feeding her, she slimes you with her tongue. It’s also not good to have carrots in hand when she comes running. A fence between is a good idea. My father says that sometimes when he’s milking her (by hand) she’ll turn around and lick him on the face.

I have milked a cow before – it was one of our jobs when we were kids. I was very slow and the cow would grow impatient and start kicking at the bucket. My brother and sister were better at the job and took over, delegating a different job to me.

Have you ever milked a cow by hand? If not, would you like to try?

I have a special guest today–Alisha Rai who is celebrating the release of her new book Cabin Fever. Like many writers Alisha is an avid reader and this started her journey to published author. Today she’s talking about weather, seasons and yummy treats. I definitely want to try this recipe!

I recently moved to the Midwest from Florida, where one of my chief complaints was the utter lack of seasons. Yeah, sunshine is awesome, but after a few years of nonstop heat and humidity (and sometimes hurricanes, but for the sake of my remaining property value, I’m not going to bring that up again), I found myself starting to long for some cool weather.

Let’s not get crazy. As fond as I am of the time I lived in Buffalo, I’m not exactly chomping at the bit to experience that kind of a winter again. But right now, the weather’s going through that lovely shift from summer to fall. There are too many wonderful things that make this time perfect for me: the cool mornings, the colors of the changing leaves, the slight smell of smoke in the air…and the flavors.

Heck, yes. The flavors of fall. It’s a full section in my recipe box. September’s here, people! It’s socially acceptable to eat pumpkin pie! Not to mention a whole bunch of other tasty things which just make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, even as the weather turns chillier.

So what’s cozier than a good cup of hot cocoa? To keep my hero and heroine warm—not that they really needed help—I featured the following drink in my new release, Cabin Fever.

By the way, the name of the drink is, you guessed it: Cabin Fever. Because I’m just that big of a nerd. I can’t help it, I must sprinkle corny, obscure inside jokes into my stories. Forgive me.

Ingredients:
One shot of Baileys
One shot of crème de menthe
Whipped cream
Cup of hot chocolate (or to taste)

Mix the Bailey’s and crème de menthe, pour in the hot chocolate and stir. Garnish with whipped cream, shaved chocolate and a cherry. Enjoy and stay warm!

Alisha Rai
www.alisharai.com
alisharai.wordpress.com
Cabin Fever Now Available!

Do you have any questions for Alisha? Do you like to have different seasons? Do you like the change of seasons? Do you like a kick to your hot chocolate?

One of the things I wanted to do when we visited Phuket was ride an elephant again. We managed to get a cheap deal for our holiday because it was monsoon season. The first day in Phuket it rained quite heavily and I was a bit worried it would spoil our ride. As it happened I needn’t have worried because the sun shone as we set out for our hour long ride.

This is hubby and I on our elephant.

This is the view from the top. I have to add that I didn’t feel very safe and the ground looked a long way down! An elephant’s skin is very rough and it feels abrasive to the touch, almost like sandpaper. It’s also very bristly.

Our elephant had freckles. He was very cute.

This is our mahout–the elephant driver.

This is the end of our elephant ride and me saying goodbye to our mount. I enjoyed the ride, but I was pleased to stand on my own two feet again.

Resting up after the road with a small snack to pass the time.

Would you like to ride an elephant?

When we were in Singapore hubby and I noticed these Fish Spas everywhere. You put your feet in a pool and the little fish come along and nibble all the dead skin off your feet. I was very tempted to put down my money and try the fish out but I wondered about how ticklish it would feel. I chickened out. Check out this video to learn about the Fish Spas. Note that the Fish Spa mentioned in the video is actually in America so there might be one near you.

Would you like fish nibbling at your feet?

And because Leah Braemel said this so well, I’ve stolen her notice…

Starting today, a group of authors have banded together to start up a brand new Yahoo group specifically for romance readers. It’s called Romance Bookmark.

I can hear you groaning already – “Why would I want to join another loop? I’m in too many already.”

Because Romance Bookmark is going to be all about chatting about reading. No author promos will be allowed. Authors will be allowed to join and participate in the discussions but they have to wear their reader hats. They’re not going to be allowed to pimp their books or flood the loop with blurbs and excerpts.

The moderators so far are: Shelley Munro (Me), Tessa Radley, Christina Phillips, Tawny Weber, Leah Braemel and Beth Andrews. We’ll be popping in from time to time throughout the day to say hi and shoot the breeze, but no PROMOS. We promise! From time to time, there’ll be contests giving away both print books and ebooks. We’ve all donated some books to give away to members. The whole point of the group is to have a relaxed atmosphere where you can talk about what you are reading, books you like or didn’t like, tropes you love or despise, what you had for dinner last night, you name it. It’s going to be all about the reader.

I hope you’ll come and join us at Romance Bookmark

This week I have photos of two different critters taken during my recent holiday in Phuket.

I think this is a type of Kingfisher. He sat very still while we kayaked around him and took lots of photos.

We hired a tuk-tuk to go the a restaurant and watch the sunset. This was one of the elephants we saw on the way there. He’s bedded down for the night with his dinner at his feet.

To visit other Camera Critters go here.

Today I’m both provocative and risque. I bet you didn’t know that! Yes, it’s all quite true. I have two new print releases today from Ellora’s Cave.

Provocative Pearl and Risque Ruby

Aren’t the covers pretty? Both books are currently available from Ellora’s Cave at a reduced price so now is the time to buy. Here are the links:

Provocative Pearl
Risque Ruby

I love my website. It’s a wordpress website and I find it very easy to update or tinker with when I feel the urge to add something fun for readers.

For those of you who don’t know much about wordpress and building websites I’ve found an online class called So Easy a Monkey Could Do It.

Follow the link for details, but basically the course starts on October 12 and runs until November 11. The wonderful Alice Anderson from Cataromance is the tutor and you cover everything you need to know to build your own website using wordpress, all for the fee of $30 ($25 if you get the earlybird rate). A bargain, I say!

I feel as if I should cue the creepy “Jaws” music because today I’m discussing a very serious topic…

Dangerous kitchen equipment.

There’s loads of potential for injury in the kitchen, but the one bit of equipment that has injured me the most, the one piece I fear is the…

Yep, the humble grater.

I’ve grated my knuckles on numerous occasions, drawn blood and bled on the cheese. These days I steer clear of it because grated knuckles take forever to heal!

Which piece of kitchen equipment do you fear most?

AUGUST BLOG PARTICIPATION WINNER
The winner of my August blog participation contest is Patsy Hagen. Congratulations, Patsy! I’ve emailed you about your prize.

Don’t forget every month I give away a prize to one person who visits my blog and posts a comment. You never know–this month it could be you!