I’ve been thinking about handshakes today because I’ll be meeting people at the conference I’m attending and figure there will probably be a little handshaking along the way.
It’s said the handshake originated during Medieval times when men started to shake hands to show they weren’t carrying weapons. These days handshakes are a courtesy thing. They’re a polite way of greeting a new acquaintance and, like all things related to body language, we’ve come to judge people on their handshakes.
I bet we’ve all experienced the limp handshake, the tight squeeze handshake or the sweaty palm one. There’s also the four finger shake where people grasp your fingers and don’t grip your entire hand. I decided to do a little research because we all want to make a good impression.
This is the correct way to shake hands.
1. Extend your right hand.
2. Point your thumb upward and extend your arm slightly downward.
3. When thumbs meet wrap your hand around the other persons hand.
4. Grasp the hand firmly and squeeze once. Remember no limpness or squeezing contests!
5. Hold the shake for two to three seconds. You can pump the hand up and down. (This is meant to convey sincerity)
Notes – maintain eye contact during the handshake and remember that in some cultures a handshake isn’t the done thing. Research ahead of time.
I’ve noticed in my own handshaking experiences that some women don’t shake hands. To me this is weird. I shake hands with both men and women. I’ve also noticed that offering a hand to shake sometimes throws a male.
What do you think about handshaking? Do you have any tips to add? Any thoughts on the subject?
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Bah, handshake!
by Wylie Kinson July 18th, 2008 at 6:33 amI’m going to hug the stuffing out of you at National!!
I shudder at that four fingered handshake, especially when it’s from a guy. But I’ll take a handshake over a hug from a stranger. I am SO not a hugger. Friends – hug away – but if you don’t know me, it’s handshaking time. I used to have to teach how to shake hands when I taught at a business college – most people didn’t know how.
I’ve actually written a scene in my WIP where the hero judges someone by their handshake – says it’s like holding a dead fish. He wasn’t impressed, needless to say.
By the way, be careful of shaking hands too hard with women with large rings (it can hurt both of you), or older people who may have arthritis – which may be why you get the four finger handshake. But healthy people – yeah, put some wrist into it honey!
by Leah Braemel July 18th, 2008 at 7:04 amI also thinks it’s weird that some women don’t shake hands. I hate it when people give weak, limp handshakes. I think it’s rude, it’s as if they’re saying “It’s not nice to meet you.”
by Jane July 18th, 2008 at 1:45 pmSince I pastored a church for three years, I’ve shaken a lot of hands. I think a good, firm handshake is an important part of conveying how self-confident and self-assured we are.
by Lucinda July 18th, 2008 at 2:19 pmA good handshake is a must-have in any profession, imo. It conveys confidence and gives a personal ‘human’ connection to a conversation. I like to shake hands, though I agree, sometimes women don’t think to do it – either because we’re huggers, or just stand-offish. And yes, some men are thrown off by a confident and assertive woman who equates herself as an equal, *snort*. I work in PR/Marketing and am constantly meeting people – both customers and colleagues. Handshaking comes second nature, but it is important to practice if you’re not used to it – it says a lot about you.
Oh, and *smile*. =D
by Gwen Mitchell July 18th, 2008 at 2:43 pmWylie – LOL – from you, I’ll accept a hug and definitely hug you back.
Leah – good point about the rings. They can really hurt.
Jane – exactly. To me it conveys rudeness, but I wonder what I’m saying to them. Scaring them off with self-confidence? I’m not sure.
Lucinda. Yes. Those limp handshakes are just yucky!
Gwen – Definitely a smile. I’ll admit I’m not a huge hugger – not unless I know the person well. Online romance friends slot into the hug section for me okay, but strangers – not so much.
by Shelley Munro July 18th, 2008 at 2:55 pmA gentleman should take the ladies’ fingers midway and give a brief contact and then let go. Ladies to each other are the same. Nothing overtly firm, soft and brief.
Men can have their firm handshakes between each other.
by Barbara Martin July 18th, 2008 at 4:16 pmHi Barbara – we definitely don’t want squished fingers. I think some men worry about squeezing too hard hence the sometimes limp handshake.
by Shelley Munro July 18th, 2008 at 10:03 pm