My special guest today is erotic romance author, Lillian Feisty. Lillian has a new romantic comedy out today with Ellora’s Cave called I love Lacy. You’ll find Feisty hanging out at Naughty and Spice and also Romance Divas and at the moment she’s very busy working on a new project.
Today Feisty is talking about body image in romance, and it’s a subject dear to my heart. I’ll be interested to hear what you say.
First off I’d like to thank Shelley for inviting me to guest blog! I’ve never guest blogged before, so I feel really important now. Thanks, Shelley!
Something I’ve been thinking about lately is body image in romance novels, so I decided to blog about this topic and I’m really curious to hear what you all think.
I’ve always had a rather rocky relationship with my body, my body type and anything that goes along with my size. I think this is the reason everything I write has at least some mention of my heroine’s figure. I simply can’t imagine a woman becoming who she is without a definite awareness of her body.
In my first short story, Dance of the Plain Jane, my heroine is not a “skinny bitch” as she refers to the hero’s ex girlfriend. However, I had a very distinct vision in my mind when I wrote her. She was curvy, yet muscular. She had a belly, but it was toned. She was a sexy belly dancer, kind of like Shakira. However, I had a review—and it was a great review, I’m not complaining—that described my heroine as heavy-set. When I read that I was like “what?” My heroine isn’t heavy-set! And then I wondered what I had written that had conveyed such a description. I concluded that the fact that my heroine had some curves equaled readers seeing her as chubby. However, that was not how I saw her at all.
But here’s the thing. Most women I know think they’re fat. I have a group of women friends who are all below-average size and they all talk incessantly about how fat they are. I don’t get it. I’m a size eight/ten (American), and I’m by far the largest female of this particular group. And yet they are simply obsessed with their weight. It confuses me because I know they are thin. Yet they don’t see themselves this way.
Is this how readers see heroines? If our female characters are not size a zero, are they fat?
As a woman who spends a lot energy trying to lose weight, keep off weight and simply fit into a pair of old jeans, it’s only natural that some of these concerns creep into my characters. Like real women, my heroines’ personalities are often affected by their relationship with their bodies.
I’m reading a book right now in which the heroine thinks she’s fat. Yet she has no problem standing on a street corner in a string bikini persuading drivers to pull into a car wash. Hello! No girl who is truly uncomfortable with her body would agree to this. It’s a very unrealistic portrayal of how women feel about themselves and it’s something that really bugs me about women’s fiction. A heroine will talk about how fat she is and then go home with a pair of size four jeans. Hello? Reality check, please. Size twelve may not be fat, but size four is definitely skinny!
My book, I Love Lacy, releases today from Ellora’s Cave. My heroine loves food, but her job as a food critic has not helped her get rid of the ten pounds she wishes to shed. It’s a small thing, yet something she thinks of when she takes off her clothes in front of the hero. Now I wonder: will readers see her as fat?
At the other end of the spectrum, my current project for Grand Central Publishing features a heroine who has a “super-model body” and yet she has a lot of issues with her lack of cleavage. She doesn’t feel feminine and gets sick of people calling her skinny. I actually love writing this character because her relationship with her body is so different than anything I personally have ever experienced. And it really made me see that no matter what body we’re given, most woman want to change something about their figure.
So my question is this: what do readers really want? Do readers want to see a perfect model with no body issues? Or a woman who loves her imperfections and doesn’t give a fuck what anyone says? Do readers see a woman who has some curves as fat?
Or should body image be left out entirely?
Well, I can’t speak for many others, only for myself. So, I’ll say this: I want to read a “realistic” woman in fiction. Someone who has small issues with her size, but lives with it and doesn’t always dwell on it. Having it pop up at unexpected moments - just like in life - wouldn’t be a distraction to me. But please, I beg of you - no “perfect” models without body issues. I love curvy female leads - give me some hope!
And no, I don’t read those characters as “Fat”. Never.
But then, I’m a “curvaceous” type.
I see the same thing here that you describe in the post: insanely skinny women who obsess over how “fat” they are. I have some days where I think, “If they think they’re fat, then what am I? Gargantuan? A behemoth?”
And then, I get over it.
I’m extremely lucky, though. I have a hubby who adores me and has no problem with my size. Leave it to me to find the one Italian man left who doesn’t expect me to look like a fashion model.
by MsMenozzi February 29th, 2008 at 3:10 amI’ve written about curvier heroines before, and my current WIP has a buxom heroine. She doesn’t see herself as out and out fat, but she admits to being an amply curved woman. And she feels attractive and sexy. She has a sort of ‘ho hum, I’m carrying a few extra pounds but I can still be hot!’ attitude.
I don’t know what readers will make of her, but the *last* time I wrote a chubby heroine, readers really liked her and her curvaceousness.
As a writer, I feel as if I’m being true to my pudgy self when one of my heroines is nearer to my size…
by Portia Da Costa February 29th, 2008 at 4:15 amI don’t like to read a book where the character obsesses, other than that, I’m good. For instance, I loved Bridget Jones, but I got really really tired of the weight issue.
by gwen hayes February 29th, 2008 at 8:13 amWhat a great topic. I hadn’t thought about this until reading this blog, but body image is mentioned quite a lot in romance but it totally makes sense. It really is part of who we are and how we act as women. I love it when a girl thinks she’s not so hot, but the hero just loves the way she looks. I don’t care if it’s done a lot. It gets me every time.
by Chi Nguyen February 29th, 2008 at 8:46 amThere is a double standard for me. I love a realistically portrayed woman, but the hero’s still got to be super sexy. No love handles on my heros. :)
Thank you, thank you, thank you for bringing this issue to light. Number one I hate reading books about ’skinny’ women with no body issues and who are just perfect gag me please. I love the curvy women because from what I’ve heard from guys, and all my friend are guys, they really prefer curvy women to the super skinny model types (thank God or the rest of us would be screwed). I also love that you are writing a book about a woman who is having issues with being ’skinny’ and not liking her body. Believe it or not that was me. In my particular culture it is the curvy women who are drooled over not the skinny women (check out a rap video, or even R&B for that matter and I promise you there won’t be skinny woman in sight). So I was the skinny girl that all the guys looked past because I wasn’t ‘thick’ enough to be sexy. For years other woman have looked at me funny because I didn’t want to be skinny and I would even get offended if people would keep pointing it out to me (just like your character). D*mn it I knew I was skinny I didn’t need to hear it every five minutes. I’ve had a baby and now I’m thickalisious lol (yes I made it up) and I couldn’t be happier. Not all women want to be ’skinny’ and I think that our literature should reflect all woman not just a limited view.
by LaurenMurphy February 29th, 2008 at 9:01 amThese are all great comments! Thanks, everyone!
Ms. Menozzi, you hub sounds awesome! I think I would be gargantuan if I lived in Italy, though. Mmm. Pasta. I do hate that feeling though of, “Gee, if you’re fat, what am I?” I don’t think I’m as good as getting over it, sadly.
Portia, that’s interesting. What I wonder is, with your heroine, what exactly do you consider pudgy? I guess that’s kind of what I’m trying to figure out for my own writing.
Gwen, I loved Bridget Jones. Of course, I have been told-a lot-that I AM Bridget Jones.
by Lillian Feisty February 29th, 2008 at 9:31 amLauren, love your comment! And it just goes to show that there is no perfect body type. I guess we just have to come to love who we are.
Easy-peasy, right?
by Lillian Feisty February 29th, 2008 at 9:33 amWow, Feisty. What a great topic, and a great post. You should ‘guest blog’ more often! *wink*
Also, I want to say, that when I first researched EC, I bought the Caveman Anthology that had ‘Dance of the Plain Jane’ in it, and even though it’s not my usual genre, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I couldn’t put my finger on why at the time, but in this new light, I think it was the realism of your heroine that drew me in. I’ve since recommended it as an example of how to write that genre (which I don’t, but I have friends that do.) And I digress, but my point is this: yes, please give me a real woman.
You hit the nail on the head with the relationship that most women have with their bodies. It’s a reality of our society. Like, wow. That’s some serious food for thought. I might have to go back and re-read everything I’ve ever written to see if I got that element in there.
I’m on the Boticelli side myself, and I think that what I prefer as a reader is something right in the middle. I don’t want to read about a heroine that has the perfect body and obsesses (whether it’s vain, or self-critical) but on the other hand, reading is an escape, so I don’t want to think about cellulite either- ya know?
Also, I think I really enjoy reading about heroes who *want* a curvier woman. It’s nice to think that ‘the skinny bitches’ don’t get all the hot men. That’s probably the biggest turn-on of all with stories that have voluptuous heroines.
Thanks for the great post!
by Gwen Mitchell February 29th, 2008 at 10:17 am~Gwen
Trust me, Feisty - if you were in Italy, you’d keep the weight off, easily, no matter how much pasta you enjoyed!
There are women who stay skinny but eat as much as some of the men - the key is that they walk everywhere! (Sometimes elevators are NOT an option, either.)
When you walk everywhere, eat fresh food, and enjoy good friends and vino, well, it’s hard to keep the weight around.
And, yeah… the hubby is awesome!
He even treated me to Indian for our anniversary last night… 
by MsMenozzi February 29th, 2008 at 10:23 amFeisty, there’s a piccie in the blog post in this link of the sort of figure my heroine has:
Bad dreams
I’m a bit pudgier than this myself though.
Do you know who Nigella Lawson is? She’s a famous TV cook over here and she has a big, lush figure and she’s generally considered to be a total sex goddess! My Gwendolynne is around her build…
by Portia Da Costa February 29th, 2008 at 12:20 pmPortia, I LOVE Nigella! I have all her cookbooks. But I just adore her show. There is something so sexy about her. She’s beautiful, and I adore the way she so obviously loves food.
by Lillian Feisty February 29th, 2008 at 12:23 pmGwen, thanks so much for the kind words! You know, Plain Jane was the first erotic story I started and finished. And even though I look back now and want to change tons, I still like a lot of things about that story. It was very real to me, so I am so glad you found a certain realism in the heroine. I am so glad you liked that story!
I think I prefer to read about *real* women. I don’t necessarily care if they are curvy or skinny, I just want to see them having a real relationship with themselves.
Now that I’m in my thirties, I find myself attracted to people who are sexy. And sexy really isn’t defined by body type. To me it’s a certain confidence and seeing a person who is comfortable with who they are. And their sexuality.
Does that make sense?
by Lillian Feisty February 29th, 2008 at 12:28 pmMs M, you are so right! Whenever I’ve traveled in Europe I eat whatever I want and I’ve never put on weight. Walking and fresh food is key, I think!
by Lillian Feisty February 29th, 2008 at 12:29 pmCongrats on your new release, Feisty.
I like my characters to be a healthy bodyweight for their frame and the books where the characters totally obsess about their “fat” the entire book when they’re not fat at all, give me hives.
I love Nigella Lawson and the way she loves food. She IS a goddess. Her cooking show is awesome.
We’re conditioned to think of our bodies and these days are constantly bombarded with messages saying we’re too fat. It’s true that some of society are too big, but there’s a huge difference between obese and a “healthy for your size” weight.
I’m tall and have big bones. I’m not skinny and I’m not fat - sort of in the middle. Do I think about my body? Heck, yeah. As I said, these days we’re conditioned to think about weight.
I love to read about realistic heroines and the men who fall for them. I know my husband hates really skinny. Has anyone seen the show Top Model? Some of those girls look as if they’d blow over in the wind.
I have to agree the key to healthy is good food in moderation and exercise.
Can anyone recommend books they’ve enjoyed where the heroine is a larger size? Apart from the ones already mentioned
by Shelley Munro February 29th, 2008 at 12:46 pmI think a lot of readers were crying in relief (I know I was) when women in romantic fiction began looking more and more realistic as opposed to barbie-esque. Not that Barbie doesnt have her own issues. What I mean is part of what really fleshes out a character-you are absolutely right in this Feisty-is her self image.
by R.G. Alexander February 29th, 2008 at 1:06 pmAs long as our Heroes think that junk in her trunk is the hottest thing he’s ever seen-or her little A-cup breasts are the perfect size for his mouth ;)-and she has her own personal growth and acceptance in that area-its all golden.
In my books I always leave details about my heroines size quite vague, unless it is relevant to the plot. If I do mention it in my contemporaries, I make them something average. In the historicals plumpness was appreciated and admired because it meant you were healthier and could afford to eat well. (how times have changed)
by Kate Pearce February 29th, 2008 at 1:45 pmI like my readers to make up their own minds as to how a person looks and feels. I get fed up reading about perfect heroines and, I’m sorry to say, auburn haired green eyed temptresses!
I want realism. I’m a size 16 (American or Canadian) I am also very tall, I have had children. I do weight training, so I am toned but I have hips, I watch what I eat, but I also had two very large children (my last one was 11.5).
I have issues, I will admit it, but I have to say I am happier with myself and my sexuality, than before I had children and was the size ten. Sure I’d like to get back to that size one day, but I love who I am now. Back then I was not sure of my body at all, and embarrassed.
I really really hope this rambling makes sense. Cause my point is realism and that Curves does not equal fat. Not in the least.
by Amy Ruttan February 29th, 2008 at 1:53 pmTotally makes sense, and I completely agree. Sexyness is a state of being, and so much of it is about confidence.
by Gwen Mitchell February 29th, 2008 at 2:22 pm*Gosh, I am so Faaaaaaaat!!*
Sexiness is not a bag of bones or a lump of lard. It is a mind set and a persona that exudes confidence and self worth. That confidence is what heroines -and women in general- need. Not a BMI. If you are too busy worrying about the caloric intake of the chocolate your lover wants to bring into the bedroom, he is not going to be interested in your measurements for long.
by Inez Kelley February 29th, 2008 at 2:43 pmI think it’s hard to leave body issues out of books because it’s not realistic to do so. A few lucky women are confident with their bodies, and that is part of their personalities. The rest of us struggle with body image in one way or another.
I’ve written skinny and larger ladies, all with their own issues. Skinny girls want curves and larger breasts. Larger gals want less curves. The hope is that sometime during the unfolding of the story they come to terms with who they are and learn to accept and love themselves, if they don’t already.
Great topic, Lillian, and congrats on the release of your new book!!!
by N.J. Walters February 29th, 2008 at 4:10 pmAs I think about the heroines in my books from Cerridwen Press, body image isn’t a big deal. The heroes think they are curvy in all the right places and I hope that’s what the readers notice.
by Anita Birt February 29th, 2008 at 4:28 pmLillian, I don’t think there’s any winning with this issue. Body image is such an emotional topic for women, and such a subjective one, the same heroine will be perfect for one reader and ‘fat’ for another. Or how about the blonde Barbie doll constantly derided in books - how does the slim blonde reader feel when she reads that? So you can’t please everyone. Just write the character and please yourself.
Shelley - tag! You’re it!
by julia March 1st, 2008 at 5:55 amMy heroines look nothing like Victoria’s Secret models, who are anatomically unreal. Is there any woman here who can relate to them?
by Tempest Knight March 1st, 2008 at 7:15 amI totally understand what you mean. I used to be a model back in the stone age. Yet I’ve always struggled with weight and body image. Now I’m size fourteen and the one thing that saves my sanity is my husband accepting me just as I am.
I’ve written a couple of ‘me-size’ heroines with body image issues. (One is in Vampire Vintage and the other is a Rubinesque that hasn’t been contracted yet.)
They always have a hero who finds them sexy despite their shape or even because of it. I wish we women didn’t depend upon the validation and kindness of others to see ourselves as “okay” but we do.
I understand that in some countries a strong big-boned woman is a plus. Where is it. I’ll move there.
Ash
by Ashlyn Chase March 1st, 2008 at 8:18 amnot all body issues are the same! I’m not heavyset, but I have small breasts, and tire of stories about “buxom” heroines, since apparently I’m deficient because I am a B-cup. Sheesh. Equal time please!! lol
by vlh March 1st, 2008 at 11:27 amHey Shell and Lill, love the interview. And I love realism too, and lots of variety in heroines. I loved I LOVE LACY, I already read it!
by Red March 1st, 2008 at 11:54 amI also wanted to add that I have written two romances with larger heroines, but on the whole I tend to be quite vague with my character descriptions because I know readers like to imagine themselves as the heroine.
VLH - I hear you. I’ve always thought that loving sport as I do, it must be really difficult being buxom.
by Shelley Munro March 1st, 2008 at 1:08 pmFeisty! Hey, girl. Great post. I loved it. And no, a woman who has curves certainly isn’t fat! Every woman should have curves. Unfortunately I think the young-boy stereotype body that is sooooo promoted today for women has gone over the top. It’s ridiculous and it’s time, we as women, stood up to it. Women are SUPPOSED to have curves. I can’t stand it when gals get very lean then have no breasts and get breast implants. It’s one of my pet peeves. And I’m a bodybuilder! It’s ridiculous. So, good for you. I think we need more women out there that signify a healthy lifestyle–and that means a woman with curves…
~ Lise
How much danger would you face for the perfect romance?
Lise Fuller, http://www.lisefuller.com, http://www.myspace.com/lisefuller, ROMANTIC TIMES REVIEWERS CHOICE NOMINEE, 2006; Pikes Peak Romance Writers 2006 Author of the Year; Best Newsletter Article of the Year for 2006-Colorado Romance Writers
~On Danger’s Edge, available at Borders, Barnes & Noble and in e-book, Cerridwen Press, http://www.cerridwenpress.com, 4 1/2 Stars from Romantic Times
by Lise Fuller March 1st, 2008 at 2:00 pm~Intimate Deceptions, available in e-book, Cerridwen Press, http://www.cerridwenpress.com, RECOMMENDED READS from Coffee Time Romance and Joyfully Reviewed
~Cutting Loose, available at Borders, Barnes & Noble and in e-book, Cerridwen Press, http://www.cerridwenpress.com